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Topic:  Skirmish above Tekeos IV
Blue-Leader
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  Skirmish above Tekeos IV
April 11, 2008 8:49:30 PM    View the profile of Blue-Leader 
"All wings, report in." Opan Stari, leader of Grey Squadron said. A veteran in the Imperial Navy, he has served in countless battles, across countless planets.

"Grey 1 standing by." Lendo Denoda reported.

"Grey 2, standing by." Homsar Venis said.

"Grey 3, standing by." Pich Averre said with a glee.

"Grey 4 standing by." Derresh Chaar said.

"Grey 5 standing by." Duun Khan said.

"Grey 6 standing by." I said, flying on Khan's back.

"Grey 7 standing by." Trik Delwynn said.

"Copy," Stari said. "All fighters engage Tekeos rebels, they are positioned on the fourth moon of Tekeos." Stari's Intercept flew outwards from the Muunilinst's bow.

"Any back-up?" Venis asked. His TIE was on my bow, just moving around the ship.

"Sole Purpose and Muunilinst, both Imperial II-Class Star Destroyers. They are going to move in once we soften up the pirates."

"Roger," Venis said.

"What is the strength of the Pirates?" I asked, moving my TIE Interceptor down with Khan's.

"Just two Nebulon B-Class Frigates. Barely any firepower, but according to outside sources they have close to 20 Z-95 Headhunters." Stari finished.

"Roger," I said, now Khan's ship was following my back.

"Grey Squadron look sharp. Ships coming into view now."

Two Nebulon B-Class Frigates loomed into view, the outline of
Z-95s were barely visible, but as Grey Squadron got closer they became bigger, until they were the real thing.

"Grey 1 and 2 move in." Stari has a Headhunter on his back, Grey 1's TIE  Interceptor made the first hit, spearing the Z-95 on the left wing. Grey 2's simple TIE Fighter hit it second, the ship flew towards one of the Nebulon Bs and detonated. "Nice shot Grey 2."

"Thank you sir." Venis said. Grey 7 and 5 were ganging up on a Headhunter, three laser shots and it was down.

"Grey 4 look out," I said. Moving my TIE Fighter down, Khan on my back we both fired in unison at two Z-95 Headhunters that were flanking Grey 4. "Damn." Grey 4 was just hit with a blast, moving around in space doing nothing.

The laser fire flared wide, hitting a Nebulon B. "Grey 4..." Stari trailed off as Chaar was hit, moving sideways and then collided with a Z-95.

"Now," I shot twice. Both hit the fighter, it fell out of space and into Tekeos' atmosphere.

I flew down below a Nebulon B, a Z-95 was heading my way. Two blasts took care of him. Now turning sharply left, I shot at the bridge. it obviously, absorbed the damage. But it was nonetheless fun.

"Captain Chiti, you have the go." Stari said, reffering to Sole Purpose's Captain.

"Affirmative. The Cradle is set."

"Grey Squadron fall back, try to bring some of those Z-95s with you."

Grey Squadron barked its affirmatives, Khan now was on Delwynn's back, and I was on Khan's. Grey 1 and 2 now were guarding Grey Leader. Both of them crossed the other side of the moon, followed by the rest of Grey Squadron. And 13 Z-95s, they fell straight into their B\ Muunilinst and Sole Purpose's firing range.

"That got em!" Stari said in delight as the Headhunters blew into little pieces.

To Be Continued
------------------------
This is my first story, tell me corrections, or if I need a new idea. Good or bad.
[This message has been edited by Bacredi (edited April 11, 2008 10:19:38 PM)]
StOrMz
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  RE: Skirmish above Tekeos IV
April 11, 2008 8:56:01 PM    View the profile of StOrMz 
I am certainly no expert at writing, but I think it is pretty good. Especially for a first post

The only thing I would do if I were you is talk more about what is going on. You have quite a bit of conversations but we don't know what is going on other than that really. What you did point out, however is detailed very well to me. You put enough detail to see it clearly in my mind, but not so much that I became bored with it.

Great job on your first post though

*Note: One more thing: it's fine when you are in a personal story but if you are engaged in a squad story, use third person writing. All the posts go more easily together then.
FM/LCRW StOrMz/Kaph 1-3/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (=A=)

______________________________________________________________

[20:48] * Verkur screams
[20:48]  why are you creaming?
[20:48]  ewwwwwwww
[20:48]  screaming*
[This message has been edited by StOrMz (edited April 12, 2008 9:48:48 PM)]
Blue-Leader
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  RE: Skirmish above Tekeos IV
April 11, 2008 8:57:06 PM    View the profile of Blue-Leader 
Thanks. I will work on it, thats what i get alot. So I will up date it.
Blue-Leader
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  RE: Skirmish above Tekeos IV
April 12, 2008 10:26:22 PM    View the profile of Blue-Leader 
umm... new post
http://comnet.imperialnetwork.com/topic/10013/
[This message has been edited by Bacredi (edited April 12, 2008 10:28:42 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Bacredi (edited April 12, 2008 10:31:46 PM)]
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