why don't you people just read the novel and forget about all these complaints, for crying out loud?!

I mean it, do I have to spoil the plot to convince you people that what I'm doing is a new and my idea?! Cause I don't get what's the use of arguing when I've heard J.K. Rowling got her inspirations from places like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Forget it, I can't even get through to you peoples' heads, god....

Also I understand about the citzenship takes a process, Namy and Cosmic, so stop all these load-a-shotgun-and-shoot-me crap, okay? I get the point. But I'll have to come clean to convince you people.

Here I go. I was born in China, I don't remember my childhood at all, but when I was 10, I had the biggest change in my life. I was invited by my Dad, who was working at the time in Fermilab being a physicist, to come to America and take a vacation in Florida for the Disney theme parks and Universal Studio (God, that was fun). But it turned out I stayed there for five years, living the happiest that a Chinese could ever dream of. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world. I had my shares with first-look-at-a-girl-and-fall-in-love-with stories, but not like her. God, Christine was like an angel guiding me through the pushing-around by kids who mock at me easily and make me get into baby fits.

I mean it's not always that this happens, but heck, every good side has a down side, balance of nature, learned that from Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life. I mean those boys are like the boys I meet when I got back to China five years later, they're mean as a shark, they'll eat you up for dinner no matter how much courage or guts you got. Except for the fact, Chinese teachers don't usually control a fight till it gets out of hand, because they allow us to make jokes with each other, even if they're mean, the teachers can't even the students. so don't tell me the facts of special circumstances, Comsic, because that makes me a liable target for the hook, line and sinker by the sharks.

Still with someone to cheer up my life, a novel that could change the world, a voicebox that could sing some, even though it can't sing like Clay Aiken (almost up to that point with "this is the night"), an interest in reading, a love for movies (but not the one-star ones like Hills have eyes II, blech!), and a great likeness for computer games, like battlefield 2142, which I do want to play, I feel right now a purpose set out for me by the Lord (I believe in Christianity, something my rock-climbing sponsor was able to help in my sins) to ease people in the world of their pains. So don't give me the speech, cause I feel I've had enough let-downs in life. So for a seventeen-year-old boy (proof is my birthday is March 31, 1990) who's told you more things than the president is prepared to tell you during the Cold War, (I heard about the CIA files that were leaked from the Cold War, the director must be reeking in his seat, for he sat in the very position that decided we should try spying on people without considering their rights), who had bills under my roof that my parents weren't prepared to handle, for my dad lost his job, and a unfamilar world that I had to re-walk into, you ought to give some sympathy, right? Cause you could describe my life with Carrie Underwood's Lessons learned or the Goo Goo Dolls' Sympathy, my love life with Goo Goo Dolls' Before It's too late, and my hopes for I'll Stand By You to be sang by Christine, that she'll mean it, and will stand by me, no matter what happens.

Oh, I love the references made in 24 about the Consitution, how it's a guidebook to managing the nation, but not actually taken into account. Wow, imagine if we got into World War III, think of the consequences on our next generation, cause they've got a futuristic life to build, and I wouldn't want this on their conscience. I think the reason the American people has stopped watching it, cause they fear of it happening right in their homes, but it brought the card up my sleeve, going against the Constitution, man, if I wouldn't be glader if a woman president took over, maybe it is time to change sexes in leadership, for I feel the men are getting more like Nixon, not peaceful Kennedy. God, I wish we had the Kennedy card right now, cause that would be so refreshing right now.

So, until I can get an assurance or an apology, which I'll give for all those truthful people who went through the process to become an American, that I wanted for once in my life, not to be a special-circumstance person, I'm sorry, but I've been through some tough challenges in my life, and I couldn't back down on this.

And for your information, Arnaut, I have taken the practice questions, though I didn't pass, because of one, I'm not a native american or anything, and two, because I just meeting girls, I haven't even rushed to the spouses part, too quick for me, don't believe me, take it yourself.

Oh and people, I'm not familiar with the process of citizenship, so you'll excuse if I have to be "babied", ugh, I can't believe you would use those terms when you don't even know me.

And because of my lack of Chinese, English has become my first language, no doubt.

So don't give me the you-can't-do-this or you-won't-get-the-girl-of-your dreams letdowns, cause I'm starting to get sick of it, it's just as bad as when William Wilberforce was let down on his slavery abolition bill when everyone knew he was right, yet because of the money, they ignored him, greedy bastards.... (sorry about the language, but it's true, no offense to any of you guys, hopefully)

So any more questions can posted here, cause I'm sorry, Luckystar, if I took my issues too far on your own private novel topic, but I can't stand the irritation about my novel, so I had to clear it up.

Dude... Stop digging yourself into a deeper hole, I hate to say this, but you're really starting to make yourself look like an idiot. Instead of talking to us, maybe you should try convincing your dad or who ever you live with to help you out.

Not us.

The novel isn't going to work either, J.K Rolling was inspired by those people. Meaning they influenced her to become a great writer and make a wonderful story.

Not copy them.

And the girl? She's not worth it. Chances are she'll dump you for some other guy, or you two will end up breaking up after about a month or two of dating.

She might even be with someone else right now.

You should just do what Cosmic said, instead of rushing yourself into things. And you think you have it bad? Wrong. There's people in third world countries that haven't even seen a picture of America, yet they're risking their lives to get here, hoping that it will be as good as its said to be. The worst part is that some of them will be caught, sent back to their countries, and maybe even punished.

Just calm down, and forget the girl. Yea, thats hard to do, but if she's going to ruin your life, then she's not worth it. You should just focus on school and get good grades. Ask your dad to help you get into an American College and to become a citizen. In order to get into a good one though, you need grades, good grades. So just try and stay focused on school.

That's all I have to say, I hope I could be of some help, and sorry for being mean.

Explain your novel to get your point across.

I started reading the first paragraph, and I lost interested. Why?

Don't you get what we are saying?


Your novel isn't going to sell.

Yeah go ahead a slap a person whose right and is a perfect stranger on the INTERNET!  You're novel is horrible, but beyond that if English is your first language then you need to improve it before sending anything off to the publishers.  Secondly, we're talling you this because we know how the world works.  Thirdly, having a woman in power won't fix anything, no offense to other female but we're to vindictive and hold a grudge.  All your knowledge comes from fictional movies, that's no bases for political views, views on love, or other serious matters.  this girl sounds like she's much older then you probably almopst done with college, she probably dating some football player and was just being nice to you, oor pitied you.  But this has nothing to do with your novel, so lets get back on track shall we?

EVERYONE STOP FOR ONE MOMENT PLEASE!

Thank you.  I normally don't post much in the lounge anymore but this is getting out of hand and I feel I have to step in.


Firstly, Jenn, please don't attack others like you just did in the last post.

Namyr wrote:Yeah go ahead a slap a person whose right and is a perfect stranger on the INTERNET!  You're novel is horrible, but beyond that if English is your first language then you need to improve it before sending anything off to the publishers.

Nams, similar thing for you.  In fact, if you see something wrong, point it out, just don't attack.  Give references.  The novel may or may not be horrible.  Try to quote certain areas that you feel need the most improvement.

Aeos wrote:Explain your novel to get your point across.

Thank you Aeos for giving an example of a valid suggestion.

Jennabelle wrote:Let me make it darn clear, read the darn post again, god people you've got to wait before you reply, because I'm trying to read your posts, alright?

Jenn, they really have no idea if you are working on a post.

Jennabelle wrote:And, Krius, get off this topic because you're starting act like my dad, 'she's going to date another guy and dump you,' I considered that already since lately romance movies are always pointing in that direction, especially Trust The Man. Cause let me make it perfectly clear, you are not the one to decide whether OR NOT I FORGET THE GIRL!

You are right on the fact that you do not have to forget the girl, but you should keep your options open at this time.  I don't know what you do where you are, but generally here most don't consider marriage at the age of 17 or any lifelong commitment.  We may talk about it, but we know that it probably won't happen.  That is my personal experiences however, they may differ for others.

Jennabelle wrote:...because I've already said I understood that this novel wasn't my way into America, that I had to apply for it like everyone else. Krius, I think you're the one with the issues, jealously and contempt, because I have someone I love and experiences a normal person would kill to have to become extraordinary.

Not intending to prove you wrong there, but take note of this:

Jennabelle wrote:cosmic, any idea as to what the lawsuit will be like? Cause I do want to publish it, this is my only ticket back to America, I have to go back there

Also:

Angel wrote:If this novel is your only way back to America...

Jennabelle wrote:then what, Angel, it won't work? cause it's the only way, I think, unless someone can hand me an application that will admit me as an American citizen

These may perhaps what is leading up to his reasoning.  Of course it may be that you acheived a better understanging from their suggestions?  If so you should give them some credit.



Now, if you want me to go on, I can.  But let's start by apologizing  to each other, this got way out of hand.  Then we can engage in a more civilized converstation.  Alright?


Oh and just a little piece of advice:
Trust one who has gone through it ~Virgil

Some may not have the exact experience but I am sure they may be similar.

yeah, the shotgun comment was over-the-top, Cosmic, considering we just went through a great tragedy at Virginia Tech. And about that girl, Namy, she's the same age as me, so don't always go on your assumptions. Riqimo, sorry about the outbursts, but Krius was getting way out of hand, talking about dumping my girl like that when he doesn't even know me, that goes for all of you here too, when you don't know me, don't make stupid assumptions like how my girl's gonna date some football jock, if I had a smilie here, it would look disgusted with all the dumb assumptions.

aeos, apparently you just joined on this topic, because as I remembered, I will not explain my novel to spoil the whole thing before I can write it, so I'm not going to use that to "get my point across".

Look, Cosmic, I'll change the beginning, I've said this three times now, I don't think people are actually reading my posts (maybe it's because I keep editing them). Also, Cosmic, I did change the Force or Jedi names, like you asked, maybe you want to check on that.

BTW, sorry to all the people I attacked, but your opinions were too aggressive to be such, so I called them "attacks". Also, I want an apology from Krius because he took me and the girl I like issues a little too far.

alright, but you might want to know it's a work in progress, trix, you probably just joined in. Also about Krius, I did actually say sorry to all the people I attacked, that includes Krius and Cosmic, Aeos, and Namy.

edit: Look, I'd like to get into back into Dark Dragoons Squad, if that's possible, it's been a long time since I've been in a squad, but I think it'll help improve my English writing. Also, I might have to worry about the time zone change, but I hope if that's alright with all you guys, then I'm thinking about doing it.

Wow. Virginia Tech, Jennabelle? You think my "shotgun comment" was inappropriate due to the Virginia Tech atrocity?

Dude, I was being quite literal. There are fathers existing in America that do have shotguns, and will at least bring them out to scare off potential baby-makers. I wasn't kidding about that.

As for as your novel goes - you're right. I haven't read it -mainly because of the grammatical errors and the way the sentences were put together. I lost interest.

You can call me an attacking bigot all you want, but I'm just saying that you're seemingly ignoring all of the advice that people are giving you about your novel and its potential. You claim that your novel will one day spread/sell throughout the world, but just take a look around. The people that have responded to you are from Canada, America, Africa, the United Kingdom, and Australia. If that isn't a good portion of "the rest of the world", then I don't know what to say to you.

We're not downgrading your story - we're telling you the truth and our opinions on the matter - mixed in with a little experience with how things work in the American book-publishing system.

Namy, thank you for the tip on avada kedavra, but as I said, I'm editing the beginning so that people don't lose interest in another copied beginning.

Cosmic, if you can, allow me back into Dark Dragoons or any other squad that you see fit, I see clearly now that I have to get back in a squad story or write my profile to improve my writing, and there's no better place for that. Also, Cosmic, I'm sorry if I made you look like an attacking bigot, I'm just starting to take in people's advice, not ignoring them. And so I've decided to get back into a stormtrooper squad, if that's alright with y'all.

Krius, it really wasn't your fault that you had to get jealous and mock my relationships, I've expected the same from my bullies in the past, but somehow they just didn't, so you're the first person to suspect that end and I'm glad I had someone to make myself realize that love isn't all like the fairy tales tell you, it can be cruel and hard.