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Topic:  My novel
Jennabelle
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Jennabelle
 
[VE-ARMY] Lance Corporal
 
Post Number:  456
Total Posts:  814
Joined:  May 2005
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  My novel
March 18, 2007 5:45:51 AM    View the profile of Jennabelle 
Hello everyone, Zafo, everyone in Dark Dragoons and my old Lancer buddies.

I'm back, and after seeing blood diamond (with Leonardo Dicaprio) I have decided to post this essay currently a work in progress.

My novel's name:
           
          A leader and general named Joseph Yijiang Li
                        Book 1: Truth and WWI

                                    Prologue

          That night, a night to remember, a night that still lies in my dreams. The night me and my wizard family were killed.
It was a quiet night on our suburb, with no sound but the dogs barking. I was still up in my bed listening to the dogs howl. I heard my mom and my sisters all practicing spells in the living room, my dad and brothers listening to the muggle news and talking to the communicator with a general. Then it was all silent. I'll never forget what happened next.
          Openo! Get back! Ahhhh! Advada Soule! Ahhhhhh! My mom and sisters had run into my room to tell me what had happened, but it was too late they were Advada Soule too.
I saw with my own two eyes what happened. What happened was that your parents in trapped inside our soul orb. And your brothers and sisters are dead. What! You can't be serious! Well, see for your self then.
          So the voice and the person who belong to it threw 4 bodies in my sleeping area. I looked at them, they were dead. Wearing their uniform they were dead. They had their eyes open and mouths were half way open, it was as if they were surprised. I could not have believed it.
          They came for me, They came for me, They came for me, They're coming for me, I don't know why, but they're coming for me! Join usssssssssss and you won't have to ssssssssuffer what they ssssssssuffered, the ssssssssssssnake is calling, join usssssssssssss join usssssssssss! Never! Then ssssssssssssssuffer!!!!!
          "Advada Kedavra!"
          "Reflecto!"
          One interruption: This may be weird but it's true, I got hit with the spell same time I said 'Reflecto!' It's weird! I mean how can I say the words when I'm almost dead! Okay! Phew, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Sorry.
          I got hit and felt like the world was fading around me as I said 'Reflecto!' a hand it seems grabs me and turn me back to the light. And into&.

Chapter 1 : World War I: Recuritment office:5th of August, 1914

        I woke up as though I was never dead in the recruitment office at London, England. I was in a long line of people who were waiting to get signed up to the army, the British army that is. I was reading a mystery book, in fact, one of Alfred Hitchcock's suspense novels.
        Say that's a good book you are reading can I see? Sure! What the heck are you doing in my body?! Relax! I'm not going to hurt you, I just need to know, Alfred Hitchcock that's a good book, oh, sorry, well it's a long story, you know about the reflecto? The one that I did before I faded out? Yeah, that well, it went inside my body and my soul is now inside your body, just like your father and mother's souls is inside his soul orb. Who's soul orb? Let me guess Lord Voldemort? It's time for you to sign up to the army.
        And I knew that I had to sign up because I had no other choice but to sign up, so I showed my id to the guy to show that I was between the age limit of 19-30 he approved it and I went to the next test to see if I was at least 5ft 6in tall and a chest measurement of 35 inches, after that I had to go through medical testing to see if I was in an okay condition, lastly I took an oath and got into a truck filled with people, and one came up to me and said,
        "Hello there, my name is John Ruth Harden, and you are?"
        "Joseph Yijiang Li, pleasure to meet you," I said as we got into the truck, "Well what do you have there, I have this Hitchcock suspense mystery novel."
        "Me too, so what made you join the army?"
        "Money I guess, and also for my wife, she's working to be a nurse or a doctor," I sighed and relaxed back into the seat.
        "Funny you should mention that because I'm getting engaged later," Harden laughed with a look at the other people.
        "Well, Well, Well, What do we have here, Harden and Ummmm& Who are you?" Another soldier said.
"Joseph Yijiang Li, and who are you?" I said with an unusual look.
"Josh Harden, his big brother." He said with a tremendous voice.
I can see why he is big and muscular, but he isn't fat, luckily. He could probably knock down a building for all we know, being John's big brother and his bodyguard, that's a big slack for him. I considered his position, thoughtfully, and as I was about to talk about their reason for being in the war, when the truck arrived at the training camp.

Chapter 2:WWI:Training Camp:the next day

    The training camp wasn't all that great but I guess it would be okay, while I wondered if I was going to die.
"Don't worry about it," John said as through he could read my mind, "It's nothing, my other 2 brothers suffered serious injuries at that one battle, um, the battle of liege, I think, one of them will tell you about it, presuming they're not *sober*.and don't you worry about dying, your mind will take care of that."
"Other 2 brothers?"
"Besides, Josh, we have other 2 twin brothers, Fredrick and George. Did I say the sober thing out loud?"
"Not drunk, are they?"
"No, but it's only a matter of time."
We were to be assigned to different officers on 4 different infantry division, but in our mind we knew we were to be assigned to the same army, the British Expeditionary Army or the BEF, which specialized in taking part in a foreign war. Josh, his brothers, me, a couple of other men were assigned a Major Wavell in A company.
"Rumors say he's the son of a general and fought in the Boer War where he won five decorations. He also fought with distinction on India's North-West frontier. He is now a brigade major but he became our 'officer' 'cause he like the way we were training. " Josh said as the colonel started to talk about the whole aspect of the war and why we're fighting and stuff, it was a nice speech but it was sort of boring.
"Anyway, the army is the British Expeditionary Force, the guy in charge is Sir John French under him is Sir Douglas Haig, you all are in I Corps under Sir Haig, he's also your regiment leader now I'm A company's leader, Major Wavell, your platoon leader is Lt. Henry Rawlinson and your section leader is Corporeal Briggs."
After the speech, we had to cramp into a hut despite the shortages of huts, our A hut, the hut we were assigned was smelly because of the stank left by the disgusting things left there, bugs, worms, anything that was crawling in the beds, and to top it all off we had to share with a woman and her 3 teenage daughters.
The days at the camp weren't pleasant but to get away from that we listened attentively to everything they wanted us to do. We went through an obstacle course, found out about all the different trenches, learned to dig and build a trench, learned all the different things in the battlefield, and practiced all the advancing and retreating stuff. It was a lot to take in but we had to learn quickly.
On the last day of camp, I took my first step out of the training camp and into the soil of England.
   
Chapter 3:March and dive into War:12th-14th of August

I swore to god this was the longest march in my history because I was tired to the bones and I was carrying my Lee-Enfield Rifle, a Lewis Machine-Gun for the other guys in my machine-gun squad, our orders were to defend the area from advancing attackers, I was also carrying my Grenade number 1s. A wrench and other engineer stuff for the engineers in my division. My own first aid kit, medic packs for the medics in my division. A lot of cooking utensil, some food, stuff to cook with, my bayonet, my Webley Mk IV revolver. I was hoping to get a Luger and a Parabellum, some shells for the artillery support guys and some rounds for the mortar support guys, because they couldn't carry it all, and my shotgun.
I drank some water from my, oops I almost forgot, my canteen. And up comes the Hardens.
"Look like we'll be missing some battles that the French are fighting." Said Ruth as he drank from his canteen, shaking it up and down, Noticing that his water was almost out, he yelled: "Hey, Water Truck, We could use some more water over here!"
As I hurried over to get some water, I remembered to find some candy because I was low on it, only one that didn't get much candy.
"Candy, get your Candy here at Yummy Candy Shop, free candy for all those joining in the army to fighting the war!" Said a boy from a shop window as he looked out, waiting for someone to come in.
  When I finished my canteen filing, and I got a bonus canteen, so I have 2 canteens, I quickly ran to get some candy. I got a whole bagful of yummy, yummy candy. Then I ran back to my squad who were eagerly waiting for me.
  "Hey, Fredrick, want to tell us about your first battle with the army that you suffered those serious injuries." Josh said it before I could, loudly as we walked on.
  "Those Germans wanted to seize Liege so that we can't get in to Belgium unless we get a full assault on Liege, but Liege was defended by a ring of twelve heavily armed forts built on high ground, and in the forts they got 70,000 men." Said Fredrick, eagerly, as we marched on.
  "Enough with the history lesson, already." Started George before Fredrick could talk, "under the command of a General Emmich, 30,000 men attacked the forts, and we opened fire and took down their army, so the army was left with little advance and heavy casualties. But the Germans didn't care. Ludendorff, the quartermaster commander to von Bulow's second army, said to have zeppelins bomb the place, that's when we were to reinforce the rifle trench positions, but the 2 of us got shelled along with the rest of the machine-gun squad, we survived but they died. And we heard the 14th Brigade attacked that rifle trench, which forced the Belgians to surrender."
"But they had to capture the fort first or did you forget about that." Said Fredrick, as George started explaining with his hands that he had to drink.
"And I'm getting to that, but did you hear? There's one more water refill before Southampton, in which they'll give you 2 more canteens, and as added bonus they'll refill all of your canteens." Said George as we all charged past him to get water. "Wait for me!"
As we were getting our water canteens filled, a chap named Harold Alexander came up and asked, "What's Southampton?"`
"An ancient town, it was used for transporting goods between England and Normandy by William the Conqueror. It was also used for invasions. Then it became a railway station. After that it was used for transporting people and goods between Southampton and London by Joseph Locke. Lastly it was used as a dock by the Southampton Dock Company." I said as it was my turn to get my 2 canteens filled and get my 2 free canteens, filled.
"How do you know all that?" Josh asked curiously, as he was about to head out.
"My dad used to work there for a while, I don't know why, but he basically got the background from the old people there, they must know a lot about England."
As soon as they were done filling my canteens, I hurried over to my guys who were busily getting into a ship to France.
"Coming!" I said as I saw something on the ground, I quickly picked it up without seeing what it was and hurried to the guys who was picking up with the story.

Chapter 3: The night of the fight: night before getting into war zone

"So anyway, the last thing we heard was that the Germans couldn't advance through Belgium until the forts are secured. So the Germans introduced Austrian-built 17-inch howitzers and shelled the forts. Some General Leman had to be taken out unconsciously of the besieged forts, probably the Belgium General." Finished George as somebody yelled out:
"Dinner's ready!"
Then there was a rush of people as everyone went to get their dinner, Harold and I was the first to get dinner, followed was the Harden Brothers and all the other soldiers.
As soon as everybody got their evening meal, Robert Graves, son of Alfred Graves, an inspector of schools, started the conversation near the fire, as we started to eat.
"Fredrick, we hear you and your twin brother, George, are sober."
"Ruth, did you tell them about *it*?" said Fred as he took a bite of his bread
"Hey don't look at me, my mouth is zipped." Whispered Ruth with a nervous tone as he drank out the canteen.
"Yeah, real smooth, Ruth. Get it? Smooth, Ruth! Hahahaha! I crack me up." Said William Ironside, son of a keen traveller and an officer in the RHAMS or the Royal Horse Artillery Medical Service. He was crunching a candy bar and laughing and the leftover were getting on Ruth. And you could tell Josh was getting angry.
"Heir to the son of an officer in the RHAMS," Said Josh in German and standing up, as he started laughing while eating his corn.
"What's so funny?" Said William with an angry tone as he crunched his chicken wing.
"Oh, just that you didn't catch that translation, must be missing a language in your vocabulary, eh?" Said Josh as he translated what he said and started laughing again with some mashed potatoes in his mouth.
"You don't disrespect my family." Said William with a more angry tone as he put down his plate of food and bread.
"What are you going to do, slap me? The last thing, I expect you to do is punch me and put a big fat red bruise on my muscles, which I wouldn't recommend unless you want that on your muscles, and also there is a fire in the way of our fight. So unless you want to get burned you'll sit down and settle down." Josh said with a loud and obnoxious tone as he put down his plate and bread.
You see, Josh hate anyone who was in the RHAMS because they tick him off, his own father was in that place and supposedly his father died because of an accident set up by William's father, you see, the father of the Hardens was guiding a horse to its resting place when supposedly William's father put something under the horse to agitate and he pushed the Hardens' father when he was exactly under the hooves and Hardens' father died, some say it was an accident because the horse kicked William's father and his hand were outstretched because he was trying to calm the horse and he pushed Hardens' father, who lost balance and fell under the hooves, but there were a lot of witnesses who saw the true thing happened and that's how William's father died, they cut his head off for pushing someone to their death. So although Ruth does think it was an accident like some people still do Josh doesn't, So he takes any opportunity to get revenge, the reason that William and his father wanted revenge on the Harden family is because of this incident, the Hardens were playing hopscotch and dancing like Scots, when William was exiting on a trip to see his father's company, and he got tripped and dropped into the sewers, no one heard him but the Hardens and they rescued him, but they found out William broke his left arm in the process of falling into the sewers. William and his father claim that Ruth tripped William when he was exiting but the Hardens and a lot of witnesses know that Ruth was only doing the Scots dance, and that meant was that his legs would be kicking up and that means anyone could trip, but we should stick to the fact that William was like a few months old he couldn't even walk, let along get tripped.
So that was just an explanation to why this always happens the Ironsides can't ever get along with the Hardens. What happened next I'll never forgot. Apparently William called Josh something real bad while he was putting down his own finished plate, although I won't repeat the word, but it did have to do with his father. And Josh jumped up and over the fire and smashed himself into William's stomach. We could almost hear the grunt that William managed to get out.
"Get off of me, you----------" said William as Josh landed a punch across his face to stop him from saying another bad word.
"Hey, watch your mouth; there are people around here who don't like that kind of language, now zip before I----" whispered Josh as William slap him and punched his stomach and made him fell on the ground and have William on top of him.
"That's it, now I'm angry!" yelled Josh as he pushed William into the fire and let me tell you that is a live fire.
And then, you probably already guess, he screamed real loud, and it made think of my parents screaming. Odd, almost as if it happened here&, that they were killed by Him.
"What's going on here?!" yelled John French, our commander, as he took William out of the fire who was still yelling like he was still in the fire, "Control yourself, man, you're out of the fire, Christ.
"Sorry."
"Now would someone like to tell me what the bloody heck was going on?!" Asked Commander French, hot-tempered and fidgeting, trying desperately to control his tempers.
"I will sir," I said in a nervous tone.
So I told the whole story from the beginning, starting with the accidents, to the execution, and up to tonight with the bullying then the bad word, and lastly to the fight. As I said all this, everyone, even William and Josh were silent, as I finished.
"Okay, William and Josh, come with me. Bring your plate and bread." Commander French said silently, he was now calmer.
As the two left, the rest of the guys sat there, eating and drinking, thinking about this whole thing. For a long time, no one spoke but then Harold, who had finished his dinner, spoke,
"Look, Joe, I didn't realize you knew so much."
"Yeah well Ruth told me about it at the camp and on the first night and last one of the march, our battalion camp was more closer to Southampton than the others, so that was our port. Kind of lucky, don't you think, that I got to walk the same steps that my father may once have." I spoke this with a sad tone, as I finished up my dinner.
"Yeah I know about that, I was in your camp. But why do speak your father with such a sad tone?" Harold said with a concerned tone, as he took a drink out of his canteen.
"Yeah, well, he died a while back in a protest against closure of the Company because of its inability to provide its taxes and other bills, my father was the head, and he took it a bit seriously because he had been hassled a while, so he shot the aristocrat who had all the papers, and that the end for him. The company was kept to make sure that embarrassment would never get out." I answered with a quiet voice, as everyone was finishing up their dinner, I would have finished if it not for the commander's door opening.
"Hey, guys, I'm back." Josh said as he and William sat down, "We got off, but the commander said, 'only once, again and you will face suspension or maybe court-martial.'"
"That's what he always says, except he's a good leader," Said Harold as we started putting out the fire and getting to our sleeping area, "He served in the Sedan and was a cavalry commander during the Boer war."
"What's the Boer war?" asked William as we got to our individual bed.
"Well, that was the name given to the South African Wars of 1880-1 and 1899-1902, it was fought between us and the Boers, who were descendants of Dutch settlers." Harold answered, as we all settled in bed.
"Can we get to sleep now, we supposed to be up by 6000 hours, and this is the last time we'll be able to sleep in a bed and eat food on a plate." Robert said, yawning.
"Alright, Alright! Night night." I whispered, starting to drift off into dreamland.
"Sleep tight." whispered Fredrick, acting as a mother.
"Don't let the bed bugs bite." Whispered George happily, also pretending to be a mother.
"Shut up, you two," whispered Ruth, as the twins shuts up and started to sleep.
That was the last thing I heard before I was asleep.

Chapter 4: To sneak past the enemy and the dreams: 14th, 21st of August

I woke up to a terrible dream, the dream was seeing both William and Robert covering our retreat somewhere, I think it was our first battle, but anyway I saw them getting shot and killed, and I saw their faces, surprised and not ready to die. And then I woke up.
It was nearly 4990 hours as I got dressed, nobody was up except me still dreaming in dreamland. So I went out onto where we gathered last night for there was our first briefing. It changed from a fireplace to a briefing room, except outside; there were chairs that had papers on them. I sat in the one indicated to me, which was in the second to front row, middle seat. As I sat down, I looked at the time; it was 5000 hours, too early.
"I see you're awake, did you have a good dream?" Said someone from behind me, it was the commander, still yawning.
"Oh, hello, sir," I said, surprised as I quickly got into the stance when a commander comes.
"At ease and sit down," Said the commander, surprised, "You don't need to do that stance now."
"Well, sir, it's a tradition in the army." I said, as I put down the stance and sat down.
"Ha-ha, tradition, there is no tradition in my book," Said the commander, as he started laughing again and he also sat beside me.
After a while, as he stopped laughing, he asked the same question he first asked when he surprised me and I responded,
"Well, to tell you the truth, I had this dream that William and Robert was covering our retreat and I saw the Germans kill them and I saw their faces and they told me that they were not supposed to die yet, it's as if I'm supposed to cover the retreat with Ruth."
"And when do you think this happened?" The commander said with an unusual tone, as if he doesn't understand the concept of a vision.
"I do remember a line of trees on two sides of a road, like a retreating point, and I was standing like at the start of it and seeing them die." I whispered, with a sad tone.
"And how do you know about the road?" The commander asked while we heard yawns coming from the sleeping quarters.
"Well I was looking back to see the two die and when I looked ahead I could see the road." I answered while the yawns came up more and more.
"Can I ask why you were doing this looking back and forward?" The commander asked while the yawns stopped and was replaced with getting dressing sounds.
"Well, I was making a choice whether to abandon my two friends or abandon the rest of the BEF, and in the dream, I abandon my two friends, which I wasn't supposed to do." I answered as we heard footsteps coming up.
"We'll talk another time." The commander stood up and walked away, I didn't see where he went because Colonel Wavell came up to the stool facing the chairs and Harold, the Harden Brothers, William, Robert and the rest of the guys came to sit in the chairs.
"When are we eating breakfast?" James Lovegrove, son of a master tailor, moaned endlessly as got seated and started looking through the papers.
"We'll get to that, Pvt. Lovegrove, for now, we'll start the briefing," Major Wavell said as he turned on the filmstrip, "As you know, German force are attacking widely through our defenses and coming up on Paris, the capital of France, our plan is to meet up with French General Lanrezac's Fifth Army near Charleroi on the Sambre. We shouldn't expect anything on the way, but we'll keep in mind that any Germans that we encounter must be dealt with, but we want to keep intelligence advice in mind. We'll be coming up on the Belgian Coast soon so quickly eat your breakfast and we'll get going."
After the briefing, everyone hurried to get in line to eat, and as before I and Harold were first followed by the Harden Brothers, William, Robert, James, and the rest of the guys.
As the A company, that was our company, ate, no one said anything, we were all off in our own little thoughts, thinking about our dreams or whether we were going to live, it was silent until they announced we would be upon the Belgian coast in a few minutes. And then it was like a signal they were giving, we all just quickly finished breakfast, cleaned up, grab our stuff, and lined up to get out. The commander was on the ground of the coast and he spoke to us his last words for this briefing:
"Well, as you all know in a moment we'll be going into the Belgian borders, be cautious, the Germans have taken this area, so don't fire unless we give you order to fire, we don't want the whole German army alerted to our presence, and remember don't attack unless we know their strength from intelligence, it'll be suicide. Let's move out!"
As soon as he gave that order we moved out cautiously on enemy territory, it was weird to be moving out on enemy territory, it was quiet, for the least, we could hear the shouts in the distance, the loud footsteps of their troops, we had to sneak in the path that our colonel gave on one of the pieces of paper, which was actually a map drawn out with a line going down, that line was our route.
"Stop looking at the map, you're making me nervous." Someone whispered, with a nervous tone.
"Oliver Lyttelton, is that you?" I whispered, as I turned back.
"Well, if it isn't Smarty Joe." Oliver whispered, with a less nervous tone.
Me and Oliver hugged each other in a friendly greeting gesture.
"Who's the chap, Joe, your friend?" William asked as he walked up to us.
"Oliver, this is William Ironside, I believe you know his father, William this is Oliver Lyttelton, I believe you know him from somewhere." I introduced, as both shook hands and hugged.
"Oliver, it's so good to see after many years in which I have spent out of your life, I think about you every day of my life." William said, with a gemlike tone.
"Me too, William." Oliver whispered, blinking.
"Can you two quit it with gay stuff, it's getting annoying." Robert whispered in disgust.
"We are not gay, I repeat, we are not gay." William said, with an angry robot tone.
"What are you, a robot, I heard you the first time, and anyway, you guys were acting gay." Robert whispered, more disgusted.
"Guys keep it down, there are Germans everywhere, and you want to get us killed?" I whispered in an angry tone.
"Alright, but this guy is not getting the message: we are not gay, we are not gay." William said, with an obnoxious voice.
    It was hard convincing the guys to settle down because whenever Oliver and William was together, they always shook hands and hugged, acting gayish as if they have never met each other. And Robert had to always tell them not to act gayish, it was getting annoying. Man, when would this gay stuff end?
"Look guys we can get through this operation or we can fail and let the German defeat us before our American ally can help us." I whispered with in a calm voice.
Oops, obviously, they didn't know that. I shouldn't have said it.
"Say what?!" William said with a louder voice that made Commander French turn back and whisper in a mad voice:
"Quiet, you want the whole German army upon us, now shut up before I feed you to them."
Soon it was quiet, except for the occasional stops that we made to check for German patrols, during one stop at about 2000 hours, someone's stomach growled.
"Who did that?" whispered Commander French as we all looked back to see.
"That was me, sir." Whispered Bernard Montgomery, son of a bishop, looking nervous as he was trying to hold the growl in but failed to do so.
"Sir, we should stop somewhere to eat and rest, we're all a little bit hungry and tried." I whispered, with a nervous voice as we came up on a town.
"Hold!" Whispered Command French as he made everyone gather around, "alright, at the request of Private Li, we're to stop at this town and eat/sleep, but we're to make sure no Germans are in this town, so we can get our rest peacefully. Alright, Private Li, you'll be our lead scout, Harold, you'll be next, followed by Bernard, William, Oliver, Robert, and the Harden Brothers, I want you guys to get over here, rest of you stay back by that fort."
"Ok," Commander French said as soon as we were by the fence of the entrance to town and the rest of BEF were at the fort, "you guys will be going to check out the town, you only engage if the Germans see you, remember to engage close with bayonets, and if you been seen by a far target, let him come to you. Check your rifle and put up your bayonet and then Joe will lead, get back here when you think the place is clear. Okay, move out."
As soon as he said that, I took out my rifle and checked it was loaded and readied it for any target, I fixed my bayonet and I motioned the guys to come and I led them to a spot near the west entrance, I looked back and said to the guys:
"Is everyone ready?" I whispered as they all nodded their heads, "Ok, here's the plan, William you'll be going with Robert to secure the northern section of the town, Bernard go with Oliver to secure the southern section, Hardens you'll secure east side, the west and scout the town centre, me and Harold, we'll stay here for to scout out any incoming Germans from the west side, meet back here as soon as you have secured your area. Let's move out."
After I told the plan, everyone had gone to secure their side, leaving Harold and me. Harold whispered in an angry voice:
"I didn't sign up for this job just to look out for any incoming Germans."
"Look, Harold," I whispered, groaning, "Whether you did or didn't sign up for this job to do this, I will tell you this, I know that deep inside you, there is something that makes you from quitting this job, I don't know what that is, but you do."
"I didn't realize that you knew." Harold whispered, calmly, raising his rifle with the bayonet, as we heard footsteps.
"Don't, that is just the scout squad, look, I'll make this short, remember what happened at Lexington and Concord during the American Revolution." I whispered to Harold and turned to the rest of the scout squad and whispered, "Well?"
"It look empty, even in the town centre is empty, but the Germans were here, we found some burnt wood, and this folder near the wood pile." Said Ruth as he handed me the folder, concerned about something, as I could tell in his eyes.
I looked in the folder, some documents concerning the German advance, a map of a Northern German army advancing to Aisne River onto the position of 2 allied forces, a Southern German army advancing onto an allied position.
"So what's your point?" I said, waiting for a response.
"Look, Joe, the point is," Josh said with a much louder voice as he put another map on top, except this one has towns on them, "If we have to get to Charleroi, we have to pass Soigines and Mons, which is exactly the route the Germans are taking, so we would be walking into a death trap."
"That is the only route unless you want to take the impassable route which will eat up our time, and keep your voice down, do you want the whole army upon us?!" I said, with a voice like a gorilla.
Before Josh could answer, we heard footsteps and we all ran to the fence and readied our bayonet, the footsteps got closer, I could hear my heartbeat beating every second, the footsteps were one centimetre away, so I decided to charge with my bayonet at the ready, bad move, because it was only the commander.
"Oops, sorry, sir thought you were the enemy," I said with a nervous voice as I holstered the bayonet.
"Well, I'm glad you're on our side," French said as he started with the angry voice, "What the bloody hell is going on with you guys, I could your bloody screaming from back where I am, you're going to wake up the bloody Germans."
"Look sir, Josh said we're walking into a death trap because he said, 'to get to Charleroi, we have to pass Soigines and Mons, which is exactly the route the Germans are taking.'" I said with a calm voice.
"Well, we are going to have to risk it, but keep your bloody voice down; you'll wake up the Germans." French said as the rest of the scout squad came and Josh stepped up and said in an angry voice:
"Sir, I can't agree with you, we were taught that there is always a way around problems, like this one, but instead of just charging through, we could always turn into France and go around until we reach our objective."
"That'll take too long, and anyway I'm the commander, and you're a private, you only give out suggestions and I think about them and decide if they're good enough, and in my option, no, so if you don't want to be stripped of your uniform, hanged on a pole, thrown to the Germans to feed on, then I suggest you stand down." The commander whispered in a calm voice as we head out to tell the rest of the BEF the news.
When we got to a good spot where everyone gathered, the commander told everyone the news, some people were surprised because they thought the Germans would put up a fight in every town, and some people were just shocked because they knew the Germans wouldn't put their people in every town.
When the news was spread enough, we went to the town center to get settled, I went into the town hall and found food and ammo more than enough for everyone, so the commander decided to let me keep the extras. We ate a deer William shot and went to sleep.
The week went by fast, we marched, rested, ate, and at every single sound, we jumped. Nobody talked, we were all in our little thoughts, thinking if we ever die or ever get into battle.
When the week was over, and it was 21st of August, 1600 hrs, we're taking a break from our marching towards Soigines, William scouted for us and found out that here to Soigines to Mons, the same path that Josh thought was dangerous, was filled with marching Germans, 100 hr earlier, and I had woken up from the same terrible dream that I had on the 13th except I left the rest of the BEF behind and I saw them die.
Just then someone interrupted my thoughts and whispered:
"This might be a good time to talk about your dream." It was the commander.
"Oh, hello, sir, I had another dream last night," I whispered.
"Well, I never seen a person in the BEF start to have visions, very weird don't you think," He whispered as I stared at him with a cold hard stare, indicating that he was distracting from the subject, "Oh sorry, right, keep going with your story."
"Well, it was the same story up until the choice, in which I abandoned the rest of BEF, and I saw the rest of the BEF die including you, sir." I whispered with a nervous tone because I knew he would be shocked at the sound of him dying.
"Well, I know you're nervous and all but me dying, huh," He whispered, as I heard a bad word come out of his mouth, and I stared at him again with the cold hard stare "Oh right, so what if you saved the 2 guys and the rest of the BEF, maybe it will come up in your vision.
"Well, I'll think about it." I whispered with an uncertainty voice.
"In the mean time get something to eat and drink, and get yourself some sleep, we'll move out 0700 hrs and get to Soigines." Commander French whispered quickly before heading to check on the other companies.
I went over to the A company house, the Hardens Brothers, Ironside, Montgomery, Lyttelton, and three guys I didn't recognize was all gathered near the fire, talking. Fredrick and George were answering questions from the crowd when I opened the door and Fred said:
"Hey, there he is, Joe, I like you to meet Ronald Schweder, member of Royal Field Artillery, I think you know him because you're carrying his artillery," William I. said as I shook his hand and pat his back, "Next there's William Fuller, in our very own BEF, and lastly we have Sidney Godley, a Royal Fusilier. William F. and Sidney Godley, meet Pvt. Joseph Yijiang Li of our A company.
While he said all that, we shook hands and patted our backs. And I asked, confused:
"What are they doing here?"
"They're sharing the house with us, because their mansion/house is crowded, and the only place they could stay was here, don't worry, they're bloody friendly." Bernard whispered, surprised none of the 3 guys responded to that.
As Bernard waited for a response, I wondered where Harold was but something broke my train of thoughts.
"Alright, enough of that crap, I hate it when you guys discuss that kind of stuff, yes, we may be friendly but just don't bring up that crap in front of us." William F. said angrily as he turned to the kitchen and yelled, "Hey, chef, you ready with the food yet?!"
"Give me 5 minutes, and stop calling me chef, just call me Harold!" Harold yelled back as he continued to cook, muttering under his breath.
Then we heard banging of the stairs as the Major came stomping down, nearly screaming:
"Who the bloody hell is yelling around here, damn it, can't I have silence, I'm reading, waiting for the f***ing food to come but still I'm hearing yelling with no food, chef you better get the food ready in 5 or you're mincemeat!"
After that he stomped his way upstairs and went back into his bunk, put his earmuffs back on and continued reading.
"Goddamn it, the nerve of the captain, never is patient, always screaming the whole house off, *bleep* him, if only he would----"Harold muttered as the rest of that sentence was cut off by sizzling and other cooking sounds.
"Harold's a bit pissed that he was chosen chef and now he yells whenever someone asks him about the food, especially the Major," William F. said as he started to whisper, "I heard the Major once beat a female chef for not having the food ready, it was brutal, but rumors are rumors, so Joe, tell us a bit about your family."
"Well, it was said that my family was a line of people who was in every single war ever in America," Joe said as everyone in the house stopped talking.
    Footsteps were heard as the Major came marching down saying:
    "Holy Mother of God, You. Private Li. You're not lying; you are the son of Robert Edward Lee, the most successful general of the Confederate forces during the Civil War, known for his successful victories against superior forces. Goddamn, that is good news, my friends; we got a general-in-training here."
Everyone was silent for a moment as they took this in, Harold was the only one making sound, and he was putting the food that he had finished cooking on a plate as he came in with the food and drinks, looking at everyone as he gave everyone a plate, saying:
"What is going on, I heard about "
Harold was stopped for a moment as Archibald told him about my family history, Harold gasped as he said loudly, continuing to pass out the food and drinks:
"Holy Mother of God, what the hell, is this correct, Joe, you're the son of the general who had beatened back the Union army, even against all odds?!"
Joe replied, as he received his plate of hot food and drink:
"Yes, it's correct, you guys must have studied your U.S. history well, he was my great-grandfather actually, and he was a military man who never gave up until Gettysburg, where his army was crushed during Pickett's charge, he wanted a resignation and you know what happens next, what, it's not like I could the next big general commanding my own army "
    Oliver, at this moment came up to Joe, saying in a calming voice:
    "Joe, what is it?"
Joe replied, as his life flashed before his eyes:
"It's just that I just had my life quickly flash before my eyes, I think that I'm going to be a command of my own army, it's like a vision just flashed before me."
    General French, who just came in to deliver some news, hearing all this conversation, said loudly; make everyone look over to him at the door:
"Hot dang, I just heard the whole thing, Joe, you could very well help us win this war, by the way, visions, yep, I heard about this."
Harold finished passing out the plates as he asked, confused:
"You heard about these visions, general?"
"Yep, from Mr. Li himself, I'll even tell ya." General French said as he told of the visions I had sleeping about the upcoming battle.
"Holy Mother of God, what the f***?! You got to be shiting me, you're telling me that either Robert or I could die or the rest of the BEF could die, you're making this up, right?" William said, nervously, he didn't like the fact that he could die on his first battle.
"He's right, it could be a possibility that you and Robert could die or there are other possibilities," Joe replied as he drank the root beer handed to him by the chef Harold, "like no one has to die on this squad if I take the risk to defend the squad and  "
"And die, no way, you're part of this squad and you're my friend, I will not let you die." Ruth said as he bites into his bread.
"that's really a great thought but I think the only way to find out the truth is for me to sleep again and see which one of these predictions will dawn on me and " Joe said as he waved to the food in front of everyone. "But let's eat, okay, before the food get cold."
So then the guys started to eat as they continued to talk, most of the subjects were about themselves, the ones that were the focus of the conversation was me and the Hardens
"So, any of you Hardens from America?" Oliver asked as he bitten pieces off his chicken wing and chewed them wondering about my family history and Hardens' family history somehow connected.
"Yeah, in fact, our mom was a secretary of General Ulysses S. Grant, she loved him for being such a nice man even if he did chew tobacco, he loved to show up in front of the women, mouth all clean, all nice, and he was just the greatest guy my mom had even known." Josh answered smiling happily as he were in a dream, just telling all the people all about him without a care, I wondered then if those people were women, who would be giggling to the whole thing.
    "Yes, but still we always had a great relationship together in our history, though over the years, as the wars calmed down, we took a stay in England, because our parents would love a change of scenery per say, and that is when we came to London. Our families have been in every war fought by America, and this might be the biggest of them all." I finished explaining what Josh was trying to say as I ate my corn with delight.
    "But all the same, you covered it up, that's amazing, Joe. But what about your father, what happened after he died?" Harold asked as he took in a gulp of bread, content on listening.
    "I was there, at his last moment, he spoke the words that even a philosopher could never speak of:
    'Joe, the man was a murderer, Robert E. Lee was killed by him, he covered it up with good deeds, but nobody, not even him, could escape death. I want you to know I love you and never forget this phrase: "If you don't ever try something for real, how do you know it will succeed?" The legacy lives in your veins, my boy, live it and is proud of the family you got; the lord will be with you, Amen!'
    And that, Harold, is what he said. My friend, I knew about Lexington and Concord and your ancestors, Harold Alexander's ancestors, a member of the Freemasons, the very society that build America, it's not surprising then, to see you never quit on the job, even though you're in England and on the BEF, just like us." I told him, for that was the truth and nothing but the truth.
    "To be or not to be, that is the question. I believe I should address everyone that these pleasures will not be for long, for I came to announce that we must take the route despite the intelligence we presented." Command French announced, tough on his words, but I knew he didn't want to say them. He added, turning to me: "I want to believe you, Joseph, but it seems that the department is more interested on reliable intel, I'm sorry."
    So that was just about the end of the evening, we finished our food and drinks, dragged our tired legs up to the bedroom. After some heated debate about the news presented by Commander French, we finally went to sleep when Major Wavell came in, annoyed that the noises could reach his level, even.
In my dream:
    Hello Joseph, It's good that you can join us.
    Who are you people, and what the hell is going on here, I feel like my parents?
    They didn't, of course we couldn't make a Harry Potter scene again, and I mean, J.K. Rowling would kill us if we did, but we had to consider your position. Although how did you stumble upon the fact that I wasn't Voldemort's soul and your parents wasn't taken?
    Because a little thing called vision told me, it seems the Jesus can finally let go the truth now I revealed mine. What do you mean by my position and who are you, exactly?
    The second question shall remain as it is for now because I would like to see how you do in the battlefield first, what we call a test. And for people like you, tests are always a part of our society; you should know that by now. But by the way they ruined your family and you, you basically lost your memory, and by the end of WWII, you'll get it back, I'm sure, by then, you'll know who you are. The first question and other lingering pieces in your mind will be revealed and answered when you figure out why you're in the world wars, and not in some place like Vietnam or Korea.
    Because world war's definition is the war to end all wars?
    And the fact that the world wars are much better than say Vietnam or Korea, in that they don't go to defeat communism, but fascism and dictatorship, kind of like Napoleon. Let's talk about your visions before we go.
    Well, about the whole thing with this choice I have to make, how about I?
    I know what you're thinking about that, it's possible to have your machine squad suppress the enemy so that everyone can get out, but you have to think about yourself too.
    Well, this is exactly why a person should be selfless.
        It seems that last walkabout or that quick vision of your life woke more of you than I thought. What happened exactly?
    I don't know, I heard lots of fighting and yelling, mostly coming from a voice that sounds a lot like me, while there's something waving around in the background.
    That would be a lightsword?
    What, I'm a Yedi?
    Did you have a quick flash of your life or a reboot of your memory, because it seems you're getting along well in the game?
    What game?
    The game of getting to know terms like lightsword, AK-47 Special, Yedi, Bith, The Dark Side, Light Side, The Norce, starfighters&
    Weird, I feel like I know all these things, it's just there's a big blockade or something between.
    You're starting to sound like Revan when he lost his memory, look, about the wounds, it's just the memory loss that's the worst, the others you can slowly recover, like your powers.
    What am I? A superhero?
    No you're a Yedi, but given the fact you were raised in our society, the Norce is not the only thing possessed in your abilities, but it is the most powerful.
    Can I ask about what this society is?
    It's more like an alliance and for now, you need not to worry because to explain it would take quite a while and I think your buddies are trying wake you up, I wish you luck in the upcoming battle, you'll need it.

Chapter 5 First Encounters and Being Sherlock Holmes August 22 1914
    
    It felt like being out of cold water as I woke, sweating to the bones, and the first thing I saw was William's face, which looked shocked and worried, and when he saw that I was awake, his face lit up in relaxation and spoke quickly and softly, trying not to break my eardrums because he was so close:
"Hey, buddy, glad you're awake, come on, we got to get an early start, we still have a bit of way there, plus it's gloomier by the sec, I feel like something's going to happen and it's bad."
"Yeah, I get that feeling too," I replied oddly as I stared up at the sky, which surprised me because it was indeed cloudy and looking gloomy too, plus there was a couple of crows yapping off around the sun, which looked like it saw a ghost and died, cause it was all white. Okay, Mr. Mystery guy, this is not a good background to go into combat, but then again, I am an adapting person and I'm viable to love Christine, so I should be fine, but what's with the sun?
"Okay, that's not what I expected when I woke up." Ruth commented as he stared, looking as if he just saw a dead guy revived in some ritual, but of course, it wasn't, it was the sun.
When I saw everyone start to wake up to the presence of the sun except to Williams, I forcefully turned his stupid head to the sky so that he could see the white sun overheard, which you don't see every day.
"Wow, it's a hot day, jeez; the sun always looks white to me." William said stupidly, when a wizard in white appeared riding in what looked like an eagle and an owl in a quick breeze and also was apparently blocking the sun's rays, which felt filled with hope.
"Really, then my friend, you have never seen a wizard work his magic." The wizard said, chuckling, as his eyes came upon me in a surprise, "ahh, Joseph, It's good that you're here, I have something to tell you about."
"B---B?Bandalf? I---s th----at y---ou?" I spoke with hesitation and astonishment as my memory flashed to some movie I once watched with Christine. Weird, who is Christine, is she&
As I was about to come to a conclusion, Bandalf snapped me out of my thoughts and took me inside the tent that we were staying in, mine was simple, with the Hitchcock book, the package I found by the sea before we headed out to France, and my girlfriend's photo, who looked really similar to Christine. Wait, Christine is my ---!
"She is, Joe, and she's here to help you." Answered Bandalf as took the package, the Hitchcock book and the photo and laid them on my untidy sleeping bag, while kneeling, I did too when he continued, while I was thinking how he could see my thoughts:
"Look, I'm not going to be much of a mystery about me, and I know you've seen all three Lord Of The Rings. You have to fight the war and survive, and not only that but these---he pointed to the three things on the bed, are what your past is, what you are. Joseph, to tell you the truth, you're almost a god."
"What, that's impossible! I'm not better than Sam Fisher!" I argued loudly as I felt as if something was just wanting to squeeze out, but just couldn't. "I don't who I am, why I know a girl called Christine, I don't why I am here, is it just to experience the war that ended all wars?! Cause you know, Gandalf, there was World War II, and look how that ended, innocent Japanese civilians in Hiroshima and Nagaski, and guess what that's not all that was bombed. Japan's entire oil refinery was gone, in a flash, as revealed by the US government in 1985."
"Innocent people had to die; it's the cost of war, the cost of what they did to the Jews and the Chinese and the Americans in the Bataan March. They had to pay for it." Bandalf bickered back, but I fought on:
"So we kill innocent children, because of what happened to those Korean women? We kill innocent lives just standing by and only obeying their government. Bandalf, can't you see, it's the government, not the people, that is the problem, but sometimes it's the people too. It's us western countries, we're always going off pushing on weak countries like China and India, look at them, they're about 100 years behind us because of our lust for gold, you know that's another problem, we take gold over environmental protection, so you can see why Global Warming's chance of happening is greater now than maybe before the Industrial Revolution. There's even more, the Iraq war, that's created the biggest incident in Baghdad, 400 dead, yeah the bodies are piling, and it's not for honor and pride anymore, it's almost crazy."
"Enough, we can talk about this later, but for now, know this," Bandalf declared, in a orderly voice as he spoke these in careful words, and putting a concentrative look on me, I stared at his eyes and lips too as they spoke these words: "The key lies within, The answer not far, and the clues right in front of your eyes, it's all just about whether you want this truth or not. You'll know when you find what you want to find, goodbye, Joe, I will see you when all this is over." He spoke this last sentence with a pitiful voice as he quickly walked away. As I walked out the tent, holding the three valuable things and watching him ride out to the sky, I feel a sense of familiar for someone else, a person named Keel.
"Uhhh&. Joe, what just happened, we all heard&.." General French uttered as if he just saw someone very dear to him was slain in front of him.
"Well, Last night I had another dream and," I expressed slowly, as I explained about the dream last night and at the same time I could see the look of understanding in their eyes but also with some confusion as I finished and turned around and saw the most unusual message appear as if out of thin air in the sky:

HE KNOWS TOO, DOES YOUR DEAREST FRIEND, THE CONNECTION, JOE, HIS FAMILY IS LINKED TO YOUR PAST.

"Not much I can do about that, you see, Joe I think the book that was given to me was not the same Hitchcock book, I got North by Northwest, you got psycho. But what does this have to do with our past and where did the Japanese bomb exactly?" Ruth asserted as if he was investigating a crime scene after seeing
"The Nippon Oil Refinery at Tsuchizaki near Akita, Japan's entire oil refining capacity and reserves of oil and fuel were wiped out on that day, but you're sounding too much like a crime scene investigator, Ruth." I answered clearly as I saw Corporeal Briggs, who looked like he had been drinking with all the other corporals all night, walked unsteadily, stopped by a stern Lt. Rawlinson.
    "Seriously, Briggs, if you have to drink, do it some other time, we got to get to General Lanrezac before his ass gets kicked, so let's go people." Rawlinson declared with a sense of authority but adding just a feeling of humour as we followed him to the rest of A company.
    As we followed the rest of A company, the rest of the army seem to also follow with us, we were the lead company, we were the example set on the rest, the model, but there was still a bit of confusion among the men, because the original plan was to keep the companies separate and on different routes, now it's more like a marching band.
    "Don't worry. The Germans couldn't seriously attack now, Joe was onto something, but still reality beats the truth." General French reassured our worried faces, but in the middle of the day, something happened that made his face worry too, our first encounters with the German Empire at Soigines.
    Living luxurious lives, did the Germans, as the cavalry shown in their uniforms and way of moving their horses, but when General French first heard those horses, worry showed in his face, he quickly decided to rally up his A company for assault and the other companies to stay back, because they weren't needed yet.
    "Sir, It's not necessary for this, we can just let them pass, what's important is getting to Charleroi. Besides, we don't even know their strengths or how much they have won." I mentioned to remind him but if it was the truth it certainly made him upset as he bellowed in a low tone but an angry one:
    "Look, Pvt. Lee, if you have a problem with the way I run things, then maybe you should be general, but I'm the general now and I trust my gut, I trust my instincts and they tell me, let's give those boys hell."
    I backed down as I quickly took out my rifle, I never ever fired at a man before, but seeing all those greedy eyes and all that yellow and green money in their eyes, I sure as hell fired, and fired I did, a whole clip before I stopped myself at their leader. My fire inspired others to fire to although they wasted more than one clip before they could kill one guy, their rifles stuttering under their nervousness. My rifle shuttered also in my hand as I continued unloading on them, after a quick few minutes, the last one dragged his sorry wounded ass retreating back to his commander, I could have killed him, but he got out of sight before I could get a good shot on him.
    "Bastard, That guy was right there in my sights. God, if he gets back to his commander with this information, we are not going to be able to march forward. The entire German army could be breathing down our necks. Not to irritate you, Sir French, but you really should have followed my advice." I remarked, angrily, not only at not shooting that son of a gun but also at Sir French's ignorance on my suggestions, as if he could only take an observation from as stupid a general with a mind like Corporeal Briggs'.
    "Look, Joe. I know that my decisions don't always compute very well in a great mind such as yours, but still we're living in the decisions I make and I don't see anyone dying on our side, and germans over there have about five cavalry casualties, sad, isn't it?" Sir French replied confidently, almost adding a little mocking tone in his voice. Although this time, I didn't reply, I felt this man was beyond my control, I mean, a simple Private arguing with his commander nonstop, and the Private knew he wouldn't win, the best action wasn't to go on arguing and lose what you can avoid losing, but to just let him fancy his wins, sooner or later, he's going to realize the old phrase: "every action has its consequences." rings true for everyone.
    "Alright then, Pvt. Lee, Alexander, R. Harden, Lyttelton, Ironside, go on, those Germans are yours to loot, take whatever you like. But hurry up; we still have to get to Charleroi." Wavell gestured in an orderly manner.
    As I walked over and crouched down to the leader, shouldering my rifle, I had killed with a whole clip, though I felt he was already dead on the second bullet, I still fired on, releasing all the hatred I had inside for these diseased minds. I wonder how exactly Von Kluck prepared them for battle, because I know that French couldn't do the same now. I reflected sadly as I checked the well dressed man for anything useful, a wallet containing a picture of his family, oh, how wonderful, a beautiful wife and a couple of kids, if he wasn't raised for the army, he'd probably work in the farmyards and raise a lot of chickens, horses, pigs&.
    "Joe, did you get anything useful out of this guy? Here, a soldier ought to take his first empty clip, ought to leave a good memory with that photo of the first man you shot. " Ruth asked sincerely holding out the clip as I snapped out of my strand of thoughts, just thinking about this man and how much he was like me. God, Christine, if you were only here to guide me. I thought, hopeful, as I folded up the photo and put it in my breast pocket, then I stood back up and took the empty clip out of ruth's hand while smiling to him, but adding a hard look as I quietly told him:
    "Ruth, I think general French is getting quite out of hand, he's crazy, I mean, we could have taken the long way around and avoided the Germans or at least not fired at these people, but no, the good general has to show his cards right here and now, which makes it easy for the opponent to pull the straight flush on him, just as 007 would."
    "Who is 007?" Ruth asked curiously, as I whispered carefully:
    "Not to get you nervous, but I'm not supposed to say, honestly, because it is confidential, and the Major is calling to us, so let's get going to Charleroi."
    The whole afternoon and through the night, I was deep in thought, for the day's events were strange, with Bandalf's appearance, following last night's dream, in which I found out quite a bit, mainly that I was in the world wars because my memory and my powers would take time to renew. But to speed up the memory refurbishment, Bandalf probably decided that the best idea was to let me have a look at the package my father left me, the photo of my girlfriend, Christine, plus the two Hitchcock books, Psycho and North by Northwest and use them to unlock my past. So that night, while General French was out thinking (probably trying to figure out what to do), our regiment leader (also our Corp leader) Sir Haig was walking around the various houses that we were staying at in the town of Mons (we had made it to Mons and decided to stay there for the night), The Hardens volunteered to bunk up with me (when nobody else would) and figure out this whole past thing with me, for this is what I was also here for besides surviving the war.

Author(that's myself, on this website as Jenny): this book is continued on the second page of this topic, Jenny's second post.
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Luckystar
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  RE: My novel
April 21, 2007 10:21:57 AM    View the profile of Luckystar 
It was good Jen. reminds me of an episode of I Shouldn't be Alive.

In that episode a guy accidentally steps on a mine and has a falshback of a horrifying adventure he had while de-mining a field two years previously. He had been captured by the rebel army and was held captive for 4 days beofre the Commander was nice enough to give him 24 hours to get out of their territory. The guy survived. He lost an arm and a leg.

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TRP/LCPL Luckystar/1SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/1RGT/ Tadath/VEAVE

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To Embrace the Darkness is to bring about the Light

[This message has been edited by Luckystar (edited April 21, 2007 10:23:31 AM)]
Cosmic
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  RE: My novel
April 21, 2007 12:21:56 AM    View the profile of Cosmic 
I read some sentences and such. I thought it was going to be about World War I :P

But then I saw Lord Voldemort, Gandalf, mention of Jedi and the Force. Guess a story for personal interest is one thing - trying to publish this would get you into some major lawsuits.
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
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Jennabelle
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  RE: My novel
April 22, 2007 4:54:04 AM    View the profile of Jennabelle 
cosmic, any idea as to what the lawsuit will be like? Cause I do want to publish it, this is my only ticket back to America, I have to go back there. cause I love that girl Christine, and because I don't have her e-mail, I have a bit of a writer's block, so can you two help? (I hope you read the part after "Bastard, That guy was right there in my sights')

Also, I know this is a bit off topic, but if either of you two or your friends have been watching American Idol from season one, here's something you should help out with (from the topic "quick question about song" in imdb American idol boards):

At the end of the elimination episode on American idol, they always play a great song (like last year I think it was bad day by daniel powter). If anyone remembers all of them from the first season to now (especially this season), then post it here ASAP. I'll be checking it later.

if not later, then maybe on Saturday the coming week, cause I've got exams coming up, and I don't know the "when" exactly.
 
-----------------------
DarkDragoons

TRP/PFC Jennabelle/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. " -Darth Vader

"Remember, Remember, the fifth of November" -V

"So do all who seeks to live, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." -Gandalf the Grey
Wicket
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  RE: My novel
April 22, 2007 11:03:56 AM    View the profile of Wicket 
Well this years tribute song for the people who get kicked off is

Home - Chris Daughtry

Season three I believe they played different song for each person but I'm not one hundred percent sure same with season one and two

And yes last season's tribute song was

Bad Day - Daniel Powter
 
-----------------------
EclipseSquad

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  RE: My novel
April 22, 2007 1:10:41 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Well, publishing a book isn't as easy as most people think (and this is not to discourage you). What people do is that they create a book, and then they send their manuscript to a publisher to see if they'll take in the book (buy it) from you, and publish it.

I don't know the exact process, but I'm pretty sure that if your grammar isn't "perfect", they have someone read it over and edit it. So, you'll want to proofread your work before you send it in, and truly perfect the grammar (because there are quite a bit of errors that I've read thus far in terms of spelling and punctuation).

As far as lawsuits go, you CANNOT use character's from movies (Lord Voldemort, Jedi/The Force, Gandalf, etc.). These are copyrighted characters from movies/published works that you are not allowed to steal (yes, I said "steal" because that's what you would be doing). Also, the particular characters you are using are from major motion pictures and/or multi-million dollar corporations. You would get sued for millions for using their characters without their consent. Also, I doubt you'd even get that far because the publisher won't even (I don't believe) publish your book because of your illegal use of copyrighted characters.

The best thing to do would be to just rename the characters so that you are not infringing on copyrights. That means get rid of the names and mentioned concepts (like the Force/Jedi), because Lucas will sue your ass, heh.

So, unless you don't want to have to pay $10 million US dollars or go to prison (or both), I suggest you change your character names and remove any mention of characters/concepts from movies and books. Your work needs to be original - it must not have any pre-established concepts/characters from previous works.

As a side note: although I didn't read it through, you're probably going to want to change the name of your "book" from "...WWI". Upon reading that, I thought the book was going to be about events during World War I, and it wasn't. Usually books with such titles pertain to actual WWI events, meaning people go out into the field and do research on said topic and publish their findings (war letters, specific events, etc.)

-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/LG Cosmic/HCA-3/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------
[This message has been edited by Cosmic (edited April 22, 2007 1:12:50 PM)]
Jennabelle
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  RE: My novel
April 28, 2007 7:12:21 AM    View the profile of Jennabelle 
allright, allright, although this book was going to be original, I still wanted to bring some of the characters that we know in lord of the rings, star wars (especially star wars, since I like it so much), but now I see that's not going to happen.

Thanks, wicket, for the song name.
 
-----------------------
DarkDragoons

TRP/PFC Jennabelle/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. " -Darth Vader

"Remember, Remember, the fifth of November" -V

"So do all who seeks to live, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." -Gandalf the Grey
etan evnstar
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  RE: My novel
May 1, 2007 6:38:50 PM    View the profile of etan evnstar 
Outstanding. All critism aside, I too use references in some of my story writing and I found your story to be outstanding. Well written at the very least..
 
-----------------------
Grammer, mechanics, punctuation, spelling, diction, effectiveness in the science, and larger elements are the facts at hand. The Harbrace College Handbook edited by JOHN C. HODGES

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  RE: My novel
May 2, 2007 2:13:36 PM    View the profile of Jakireth 
GRAMMAR (not 'grammer'), mechanics, punctuation, spelling, diction, effectiveness in the science, and larger elements are the facts at hand. The Harbrace College Handbook edited by JOHN C. HODGES

Your quote is hilarious...

You spelled criticism wrong
 
-----------------------
-Paladin-
Army of the Vast Empire
------------------------
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  RE: My novel
May 3, 2007 9:50:25 AM    View the profile of Jennabelle 
well that's comforting, etan.

Unfortunately, I can't get this published until I change the references a little, plus it's not finished, add to the fact that with Yillis' help, I've located Christine, though, it's a hard contacting her, she has only two friends on with her at that site (facebook), and one of them has promised me that she would try and find her. Though I think I should continue writing tomorrow, even with all the references.

-----------------------
DarkDragoons

TRP/PFC Jennabelle/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. " -Darth Vader

"Remember, Remember, the fifth of November" -V

"So do all who seeks to live, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." -Gandalf the Grey
[This message has been edited by Jennabelle (edited May 3, 2007 9:51:00 AM)]
Kami
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  RE: My novel
May 3, 2007 10:26:50 AM    View the profile of Kami 
It's good to see that you're interested in writing a novel, and some of your post shows promise. I doubt however that your novel in its current form will ever get published. Spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and as Cosmic mentioned, use of copyrighted material make this a publisher's nightmare.

I don't intend to be rude, I just think it needed to be said

-----------------------
Sergeant First Class Kami
Wildcard Platoon Adjutant

PA/SFC_Kami/1PLT/1XOM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath [LoR][CoR][IG][GCA][BC]
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-=Surrender to your darkest dreams, and you'll live as you've never lived before=-

~ Wildcard Platoon ~
[This message has been edited by Kami (edited May 3, 2007 10:30:41 AM)]
Jennabelle
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  RE: My novel
May 4, 2007 4:22:00 AM    View the profile of Jennabelle 
allright, I'll change the names a little bit, lightsaber to lightsword, Gandalf to Bandalf, that sort of thing.

a little bit of help here, someone help me find a good website for enlisted and officer ranks for the British during WWI, don't post any wikipedia sites, I can't access those for some reason.

-----------------------
DarkDragoons

TRP/PFC Jennabelle/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. " -Darth Vader

"Remember, Remember, the fifth of November" -V

"So do all who seeks to live, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." -Gandalf the Grey
[This message has been edited by Jennabelle (edited May 4, 2007 4:31:02 AM)]
[This message has been edited by Jennabelle (edited May 4, 2007 5:12:19 AM)]
Riqimo
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  RE: My novel
May 4, 2007 6:11:43 AM    View the profile of Riqimo 
Enlisted ranks is not a term used in the British Army

Anyways,

Navy Officers
Admiral of the Fleet
Admiral
Vice-Admiral
Rear-Admiral
Commodores
  ( Commodore 1st Class
  ( Commodore 2nd Class
Captain
Commander
Lieutenant-Commander
Lieutenant
Sub-Lieutenant
Second Officer / Mate
Warrant Officer / Midshipman/ Boatswain


Air Force Officers
---
---
---
Major-General
Brigadier-General
Colonel
Lieutenant-Colonel
Major
Captain
Lieutenant
Second Lieutenant

Army Ranks
Field Marshal
General
Lieutenant-General
Major-General
Brigadier-General
Colonel
Lieutenant-Colonel
Major
Captain
Lieutenant
Second Lieutenant
Warrant Officer Class One
Warrant Officer Class Two
Staff Sergeant
Sergeant
Corporal / Bombardier
Lance-Corporal /Lance-Bombardier
Private/regimental equivalent


(Bombardier/Lance Bombardier are ranks of the Royal Artillery)

There is also Lance-Serjeant, an appointment originally given to corporals acting in the rank of sergeant, discontinued in 1946 except in the Foot Guards and some cadet units.

Hope that helps

 
-----------------------
Riqimo "Doc" Pershaw

Eclipse Squad

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+ Advance Recon Commandos {ARC} +


Far From Perfect, the story of a VEA Combat Medic
Cosmic
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  RE: My novel
May 4, 2007 3:26:04 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Just a quick question... Why would you have WWI ranks, name a book with some WWI title, but not pertain it to WWI at all?
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/LG Cosmic/HCA-3/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
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-----------------------
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  RE: My novel
May 4, 2007 3:30:31 PM    View the profile of Casca 
Major General is American. I thought the British rank was Sergeant Major General.
 
-----------------------
[-=Nazgul Squadron=-]
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etan evnstar
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  RE: My novel
May 4, 2007 7:05:49 PM    View the profile of etan evnstar 
Yeah, thanks Jak. Iv'e been meaning to change the word Grammar in my quote for six months now.

I just haven't gotten around to it. But I will get around to spell checking you  every chance I get.

Sorry Jennebelle, but he started it.

I still think you have a great story....
 
-----------------------
Grammer, mechanics, punctuation, spelling, diction, effectiveness in the science, and larger elements are the facts at hand. The Harbrace College Handbook edited by JOHN C. HODGES

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  RE: My novel
May 5, 2007 9:46:35 AM    View the profile of Jennabelle 
Thanks for the support, etan, but I must be going, it's getting late. Though I appreciate all the criticism from kami and cosmic.

-----------------------
DarkDragoons

TRP/PFC Jennabelle/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. " -Darth Vader

"Remember, Remember, the fifth of November" -V

"So do all who seeks to live, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." -Gandalf the Grey
[This message has been edited by Jennabelle (edited May 5, 2007 9:47:54 AM)]
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  RE: My novel
May 5, 2007 11:35:18 AM    View the profile of Casca 
Leonardo Dicaprio is capitalized.
The night my wizard family and I were killed....not The night me and my wizard family were killed.
Just some things I noticed.
 
-----------------------
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  RE: My novel
May 6, 2007 7:14:04 AM    View the profile of Jennabelle 
thank you, now anyone else with grammar mistakes or something?
 
-----------------------
DarkDragoons

TRP/PFC Jennabelle/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. " -Darth Vader

"Remember, Remember, the fifth of November" -V

"So do all who seeks to live, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." -Gandalf the Grey
Cosmic
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  RE: My novel
May 6, 2007 6:34:43 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Well, there's grammatical errors in numerous places. A good place to start would be to make use of paragraphs.

It's very difficult to read text when it's in bulky chunks like that.
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/LG Cosmic/HCA-3/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
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-----------------------
Jennabelle
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  RE: My novel
May 7, 2007 4:15:48 AM    View the profile of Jennabelle 
Look, everyone, I'll be back on the weekend, I've got school starting soon (I just spend my labor day break), so I see you guys then. I edited the novel a bit, I hope you all like it.

By the way, I should mention, for those of you who don't about a hurricane or tornado raging in Kansas, I fear it won't be long before it comes to Naperville, Illnois, it coincides with Christine or her friends not answering my messages, I'm worried, so I want to know if any of you can help here.

Anyways, got to go, got a dinner coming up with some of my dad's friends, go to go prepare, so later.


edit: Hey, guys, I'm back, man, got tests again next week, it's chinese middle school graduation tests, very important, anyways, I hope this weekend I'll continue writing the novel, though I'm still worried about Christine, unless her friend answers my e-mail or message, I'll stay worried.

-----------------------
DarkDragoons

TRP/PFC Jennabelle/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. " -Darth Vader

"Remember, Remember, the fifth of November" -V

"So do all who seeks to live, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." -Gandalf the Grey
[This message has been edited by Jennabelle (edited May 11, 2007 6:30:27 AM)]
Jennabelle
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  RE: My novel
May 12, 2007 8:32:28 AM    View the profile of Jennabelle 
sorry for the double post, but anyone can help me here, I've got a word, I think it's spelled "saltre" , though I'm not really sure if that's correct, but it appeared on the american idol episode, Jennifer Lopez week, with Melinda Dolittle, I can't spell the word right, anyone can help?
 
-----------------------
DarkDragoons

TRP/PFC Jennabelle/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. " -Darth Vader

"Remember, Remember, the fifth of November" -V

"So do all who seeks to live, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." -Gandalf the Grey
Wicket
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  RE: My novel
May 12, 2007 12:29:39 AM    View the profile of Wicket 
the word was SULTRY and it basically means sexy
 
-----------------------
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  RE: My novel
May 12, 2007 5:15:42 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
adjective, -tri·er, -tri·est.
1.    oppressively hot and close or moist; sweltering: a sultry day.
2.    oppressively hot; emitting great heat: the sultry sun.
3.    characterized by or associated with sweltering heat: sultry work in the fields.
4.    characterized by or arousing passion: sultry eyes.
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/LG Cosmic/HCA-3/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------
Jennabelle
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  RE: My novel
May 13, 2007 4:46:16 AM    View the profile of Jennabelle 
So this is it for writing for the week, I'll watch psycho and north by northwest next week to get an insight on the the classic lines listed in imdb, anyways, thanks, cosmic and wicket, hope you guys keep on reading.
 
-----------------------
DarkDragoons

TRP/PFC Jennabelle/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. " -Darth Vader

"Remember, Remember, the fifth of November" -V

"So do all who seeks to live, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." -Gandalf the Grey
Cosmic
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  RE: My novel
May 13, 2007 7:42:03 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
From what it sounds/looks like, you might have a better time writing for a fictional war in the future or something.

If you want to write about WWII stuff, the best source would be to watch WWII documentaries.
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/LG Cosmic/HCA-3/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
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-----------------------
Jennabelle
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  RE: My novel
May 18, 2007 9:59:28 AM    View the profile of Jennabelle 
Yeah, I know what you are saying, but I think that we do have reevaulate our situation in Iraq because it's so similar to this war, so try to understand why I'm doing this, by the way, I have posted this topic on the jordin spark fansite for all who wants to read this, I think people will really enjoy this.

edit: also posted website on the dotcom and dotorg of the al gore site (hope he sees it), done some edits and some paragraphing and some adding.

-----------------------
DarkDragoons

TRP/PFC Jennabelle/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. " -Darth Vader

"Remember, Remember, the fifth of November" -V

"So do all who seeks to live, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." -Gandalf the Grey
[This message has been edited by Jennabelle (edited May 19, 2007 10:02:21 AM)]
Jennabelle
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  RE: My novel
May 20, 2007 7:49:16 AM    View the profile of Jennabelle 
Sorry once again for the double post, but I hope everyone's reading and posting, cause this is becoming popular, I just hope someone important (like Al Gore) sees this soon, cause I'll probably be adding some philosophizing next week. See ya'll then.
 
-----------------------
DarkDragoons

TRP/PFC Jennabelle/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. " -Darth Vader

"Remember, Remember, the fifth of November" -V

"So do all who seeks to live, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." -Gandalf the Grey
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  RE: My novel
May 20, 2007 10:12:16 AM    View the profile of Jakireth 
. . .
 
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-Paladin-
Army of the Vast Empire
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SL/GSGT Jakireth/1SQD/2PLT/1CMP/1RGT/1BAT/Tadath/VEA[LoR]
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Cosmic
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Cosmic
 
[VE-ARMY] Lieutenant General
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Post Number:  5564
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  RE: My novel
May 20, 2007 2:00:55 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Heh. Al Gore surfing a Star Wars site? :P
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/LG Cosmic/HCA-3/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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