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ComNet > Imperial Navy > Archived Naval Certifications > Echelon: Naval Engineer Tier 3
 
 
 
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Topic:  Echelon: Naval Engineer Tier 3
Echelon
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Echelon
 
[VE-NAVY] Petty Officer 1st Class (PO1)
 
Post Number:  261
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  Echelon: Naval Engineer Tier 3
February 12, 2012 1:45:00 PM    View the profile of Echelon 
Finbar "Echelon" Bandoran quietly walked into the bridge, a datapad in his grasp. The newly appointed Chief Petty Officer strode over toward a large, hairy, wookie who was also the Naval Commander.

Echelon saluted before stating, "Sir, I completed the final Damage Report for the Battle of Belgaroth. It can be sent to the Naval Headquarters right away."

The wookie, a towering figure at the least, nodded before grunting several moans and "rawrs". His translator droid, always by his side, said in a fake robotic male voice, "Excellent. I hope it wasn't a lengthy one?"

Echelon grinned. "No sir. It was not. Not as long as the Fearless'. I had to do hers at Coveway. That kept me busy for days."

The wookie moaned, which Echelon took as a laugh. He proceeded toward the exit, but suddenly, a communications officer stood up and yelled, "Captain Stormz! The reactor is malfunctioning! They need all required personnel down at the reactors now!" Hearing that, Echelon's heart skipped. Reactors were dangerous. Very dangerous, and if one was melting down, the entire ship was in danger.

"I guess that means me as well," Echelon stated quietly to himself, but the Admiral overheard it.

"[Chief Echelon. You'rrre on yourrr way to becoming a Naval Engineerrr, corrrrrect?]" the Admiral queried. Echelon softly nodded. "[Grrreat. I'll make that official if you do more than contrrrol the damage. Help the engineerrrs fix the problem.]"

Echelon grinned for joy, and then saluted. "Yes sir!"

He had always been interested in how things worked, and he had spent the past 6 months training to become an Engineer. It pleased him very much that after today he would officially become an engineer. Though, that was if he survived this ordeal. Reactors could malfunction and be entirely safe, but if they did meltdown, the damage could be enormous. He was a little bit scarred, but he just reminded himself of his motto: "I like fires." And if he could like the danger, he wouldn't need to be afraid of it.

He walked at a brisk pace to the turbolift. Luckily, the reactor level was near to the bridge level, for they were both at the back of the ship. Entering the turbolift, he pressed several buttons, and the pod sped down leading Echelon to the danger, but also leading Echelon further into his career.

After a few moments of patient waiting, the doors opened to a large, warehouse sized room. There were a series of elevated metal platforms, staircases, and walkways surrounding a large sphere in the center: the reactor. Stepping out on one of the platforms, he walked forward to a group of men standing around a control panel. They were talking fast, almost yelling, and there was an atmosphere of rush about them.

Echelon strode toward the group and said, "Chief Echelon, Damage Control Officer. What's the situation?"

One of the engineers, a small wiry man with glasses in a lab coat said, "Thanks goodness you're here. We're not sure exactly what is going on, and we might definitely need damage control."

Echelon frowned. "That isn't very reassuring."

"No it is not, but anyway, let me get the rest of these nerds’ attentions." He clapped his hands and yelled, and soon, the squabbling and talking ended in silence. "Alright everyone! We've got a malfunctioning reactor here! We need to fix it soon because the entire ship relies on this thing, and we definitely don't want it to melt down."

A large engineer, with a Death Star of a gut asked, "What exactly is the problem?"

"Well, the reactor computer isn't responding well, and the power output has been sporadic."

"How do we figure out what the problem is?" Echelon asked.

"Well, we've got some techs monitoring the electrical output of the reactor, and we've got some others manually monitoring the temperature. So we all need to work together to try and fix this thing!"

Echelon thought for a moment. If the reactor computer wasn't working, it would be very difficult to figure out what the problem was. If it was sporadic, a small loss in coolant fluid might cause it to overheat slightly, thus a smaller power output. The same if there was a loss in pressure with the fluid. It wouldn't absorb as much heat.

"Well, is there anyway we can check to see how much coolant fluid there is? Or the pressure of which it is at?" Echelon calmly suggested.

Another engineer, this time an old one, replied, "Yes. However it might be slightly difficult without the help of the reactor computer."

"We're listening?" said the lead engineer.

"Well, on top of the reactor is a small manual instrument panel. However, it has been there for awhile, and it may not be correctly calibrated, but it is the best thing we can use to check right now."

"Alright. Volunteers?" asked the lead engineer.

I like fires, I like fires, I like fires...

"I'll do it," Echelon replied.

"Oh, I forgot to mention one thing," the old engineer added.

"What is that?"

"You'll need a radiation suit."

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Fully suited in the yellow radiation suit, Echelon entered the "Radiation Zone", a zone in which you were required to wear a radiation suit. He was furiously sweating, not because of fear, but because of the suit. It was as hot as Tatoo I and as sticky as bantha dung. Echelon was very uncomfortable.

He proceeded toward the reactor exterior, caring for every step on the narrow metal catwalk. When he got to the reactor wall, he began to climb up a long, metal ladder that stretched from the top of the reactor to the bottom. He grabbed a hold of a rung, and started to haul himself up.

After a few moments of serious sweating and climbing, he reached the top of the reactor. In front of him was the instrument panel, and he leaned in to get a closer look. He examined the several dials, and to his surprise he saw that the reactor has the right pressure and the right amount of coolant fluid. But there was something else that caught his eye. There was a dial he hadn't ever seen before. It was the material reactivity meter, and to his fright, he saw that it was in the red zone!

If you don't know what red means, assume it is bad.

He quickly retraced his steps back to the "Safe" zone where all of the engineers were. He lifted off the damp and hot radiation helmet before spurting out, "I know what the problem is!"

"What did you find? Is it the coolant?" asked the lead engineer (who's name was Tark).

"The coolant levels are fine, but the material reactivity is on high! Your fuel is reacting more than it should. That explains the power spikes..."

The engineers were silent for a moment before one said, "If it reacts high enough, it could start a dangerous chain reaction. We need to shut this thing down!"

And as if on cue, one of the engineers monitoring the heat yelled, "The reactor is heating up! Fast!"

"Shut it down!" yelled Echelon frantically.

He rushed over to the control panel, but then realized that it wasn't working. He cursed, and then said, "We're going to have to manually override the fuel injection! Someone, turn off the fuel pump!" He looked over to see several techs rush down the catwalk to the fuel pump.

Come on. Hurry up!

One of the engineers called out, "Heat at 50% maximum! And gaining! We're having a meltdown!"

Echelon, taking command of the situation, yelled, "Someone alert the captain! Tell the crew to prepare to evacuate if needed!"

Suddenly, another engineer yelled, "We're beginning to lose coolant pressure!"

"Engage emergency coolant fluid! I want it pressurized to 110%!"

"Sir, we've shut down the fuel injection, but she is still hot!"

Echelon stopped and thought for a moment. His brain, possibly working at twice its speed, was trying to figure out what to do. There was still fuel in the reactor. Possibly enough to cause a meltdown. Then it hit him.

"Circulate the coolant fluid at twice the normal capacity! That won't allow the fluid to cool, but it is the best we've got! Also, can we vent the heat to the outside?" he yelled out to all of the frenetic engineers.

"I think we can, but it will cause some thermal damage, especially with this heat," one replied.

"Alright. Do that! We can worry about thermal damage later."

With that, the engineers all rushed to perform there tasks in a mess of yelling and running. A moment later, Echelon heard to his delight that the reactor was (slowly) cooling off. His plan was working!

"Sir, diverting the heat is working, but the ventilation system is taking definite thermal damage. We might have also taken some electrical damage as well along the main power relay," an engineer informed Echelon. Echelon frowned. He knew he would probably be responsible for fixing everything afterwards.

"I'll take the blame," he replied, "and by that, I mean, fixing it later."

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"So, I don't get certified?" Echelon asked, slightly disappointed.

The wookie behind the desk roared, and the interpretation droid said blandly, "No. You did help the engineers fix the problem, but you caused another one. I'm grateful you kept the ship from being destroyed, but still, fix these major problems, and I'll certify you."

Echelon raised an eyebrow. "What are these 'major' problems?"

"[Well, rrreally therrre arrre two prrroblems. Ourrr starrrboard shield generrratorrr has stopped worrrking. That is a prrriorrrity, but also, one of ourrr turbolaserrr cannons has stopped worrrking.]"

"Yes sir," Echelon said, unenthusiasticly.

He left the Admiral's office slightly mad, slightly disappointed. He thought he did a good job controlling the reactor situation. In the end, he replaced the reactor fuel; that batch had been too reactive, and he suggested that the reactor engineers pay a closer attention to the reactivity gauge.

He entered a turbolift, pressed several buttons, and sped down toward the shield generators.

He arrived a moment later, and stepped out into the room. The room was much like the reactor room, except that it was smaller. Scattered about were several cylinders connected by wires, pipes, and cables. In the center was a large box that was connected to all of the cylinders, and it protruded a large cable that entered the room's ceiling. He wasn't entirely familiar with shield generators except that there were two kinds. A ray shield, which deflects energy blasts, and a particle field, which protects from physical objects. However, this shield generator was a ray shield generator. All of the cylinders were conduction coils, that would build up energy, and then release it to the conversion matrix (the box) which would convert the energy into shielding and bring it up to the surface.

Echelon was greeted by a fellow officer. He was dressed in the standard Imperial garment, but he didn't seem to be an engineer. Odd.

"Welcome," said the officer, "you are the repair man? Correct?"

"Yep," Echelon replied, "that would be me."

The officer clapped. "Excellent. I'm not sure what the problem is, but the system stopped working yesterday right before the reactor crisis."

"Hmmm. We did have some power surges. That might have something to do with it."

"Great! Well, I'll let you get to work. Just ask if you need anything. There is a tool kit over there."

Alright. Well, I'll test each coil to see if they are producing enough energy.

He walked over to the tool box, and went through the tools that were available. Finding a multimeter (a tool that allows you to detect electricity/energy), he walked over to the first coil. He opened up the maintenance hatch to see a small control panel, and a testing outlet. He plugged the multimeter into the testing outlet, and read the results. Operating at 100%.

Well that one is fine.

He went over to the next one, and the next one, and the next one. 100%. 100%. 100%. Then he found one operating at 110%.

Well, that's a good surprise...

After a thorough check of all of the conduction coils, he found that they were all working correctly.

Hmmm. It must be the conversion matrix...though, it is like a giant circuit board. How am I going to diagnose it? It could be anything.

Luckily, he soon found out that there were testing outlets at different locations on the exterior of the big box. If he could find where the energy stopped, he could find where the problem was!

He flipped open a hatch to find his first testing outlet. Plugging the multimeter into it, he found that energy was fowling through there. That's good. However on the next one, he found there was no energy, so the break in the circuit would have to be between those two points. Grabbing a fusion cutter, he cut open the box between the two points. Inside, he found a mess of pipes and wires, but he instantly spotted the problem. One of the resistors had blown and charred up the area around it. He suspected it might be from the power surges, or from the coil operating at 110%? Probably the former.

He cut out the resistor, and in the tool box, he found another. These types of resistors were very common in electronics, and luckily, it was the standard type, the type that the Vast Empire mass produces, so the Atrus probably had a whole wear house of some.

He soldered the resistor back in, and to test his repair, he powered everything back up. The deflector shield's computer reported that it was fully operational, and Echelon smiled. Repairing stuff was fun for him. It was like a puzzle. A puzzle that required intelligence. A puzzle that could sometimes involve fire.

Entering the turbolift he arrived in, he left the strangely ecstatic officer, and proceeded toward his next job.

A minute later, the doors opened, and he stepped out onto the firing platform. A firing platform is an area where gunners fire, weapons officers try to coordinate precise attacks, and where the guns are reloaded, maintained, and repaired. It was a long hallway like room with about 5 huge turbolasers. However currently, the room was empty of any people except for a tough looking man in a gunner suit. The man's five o'clock shadow cast an aura of experience, narcissism, and "I don't care who you are because I'm tough."

"Hello," Echelon plainly said, refusing to be intimidated by the man, "I'm here to repair a turbolaser?"

The man began to stare at Echelon, before saying in a masculine voice, "Yea, and you're going to fix my turbolaser."

"I'll try."

"No. You will."

"I'll try."

The man tightened his fist. "You. Will."

Echelon could plainly see that the man wasn't kidding, and he was serious, but Echelon wasn't going to back down.

"No. Honestly, I'll try."

The man walked over to Echelon and stood face to face. He was about the same size, but he was more muscular. "Hey kid. I don't know who you think you are, but I'm not going to let some punk tell me that he'll 'try'. You will fix my gun, get it?"

"Not only am I not afraid of you," Echelon began, "but I'm higher in rank and position, so if anybody is going to tell someone what to do, it is going to be me telling you." Echelon pointed to himself. "Understand?"

At that, the man backed down, for he wouldn't win this battle. "Fine, kid. Just fix the damn thing!"

"I'll TRY," Echelon said back, putting emphasis on the last word. "So what exactly is the problem?"

"Well," the man began, "we were practicing hitting asteroids last night."

"During the reactor crisis?"

"Yea. And I shot, and the largest blast I ever saw came out of my barrel. Since then, the thing couldn't shoot straight if I threatened to kill it."

"You tried doing that, right?"

The man clearly wasn't amused by Echelon's joke.

"Funny."

"I'll see what I can do. It kind of sounds like the large blast might have knocked the aiming mechanism out of calibration. Let me take a look."

Underneath the gun was its aiming mechanism which consisted of an system of gyroscopes and other detecting devices. Recalibrating the aiming mechanism would be easy; he would just have to reset them to factory defaults, and then the pilot could tweak them from there.

Echelon also assumed the extra power in the blast was caused by a power surge. As the the turbolaser was charging up, it probably took on more energy than it could handle because of a surge. Thus when it fired beyond its capacity, the aim was screwed up.

Echelon simply entered the system's settings (on the terminal) and set the aim to factory defaults.

"Alright, see if that is any better?" Echelon asked. The tough-guy (as Echelon decided to call him) quickly started up the gun, and tried to fire at a moving asteroid. The gun fired, but the blast went completely in the wrong direction. Echelon didn't fix it.

"Damn it!" they both said, almost in unison.

"I though you fixed it?" tough-guy said, in the deep voice of his.

"I thought I did too," Echelon rebutted, "but it must not be the aiming mechanism."

He began to think. What influences a gun's aim? The sighting. The power of the blast, which, in this case, wouldn't be the issue. But what else?

Then it hit him.

"The barrel!" he blurted out.

"Huh?"

"It must be the barrel! Maybe the extra blast damaged the barrel!"

"Hmmm. That would make sense."

"Here," Echelon said leading the man over to the viewport. "Does that barrel look normal?"

Tough-guy looked for a moment before saying, "It does look a little bit curved."

"See! There you go! I'll have a new barrel ordered for you by tomorrow. You know what the best part is?" Echelon asked.

"What?"

"I don't have to install it! The nonspecialist repair grunts can do that. But anyway, I'm off. I've got to do other stuff."

"Like what?" tough-guy asked.

"Like...sleep."

With that, Echelon strode out of the firing deck, convinced that he would be a certified Engineer in no time.

OOC:
Word Count: 3,050. I think it is a little rushed at the end, and the writing isn't my best, but hopefully it will pass! If it isn't techy enough, let me know. I will fix it!
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DMG Control Officer/CPO Finbar "Echelon" Bandoran/mSSD Atrus/TF:A/1Flt/FC/VEN/VE

TO/CPO Finbar "Echelon" Bandoran/PLF Cappadocious/VENA/VEN/VE

[SoA] [NAR] [CAR] [MC2] [BWC] [HNS] [MC1] [=^ENG^=]
{VehM} {SfrM} {HypM} {Astr} {LogS} {Shut} {Gunn}


[This message has been edited by Echelon (edited February 12, 2012 7:08:54 PM)]
Trykon
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Trykon
 
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[VE-NAVY] 2nd Lieutenant (2LT)
 
Post Number:  1289
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  RE: Echelon: Naval Engineer Tier 3
February 12, 2012 6:03:44 PM    View the profile of Trykon 
Okay, Echelon.  You wanted constructive criticism like what I'd give to an officer-in-training?  Here goes:

1.) This piece needs editing.  In the very first sentence, you have a distractingly out-of-place comma.  Not a good first impression.  Worse, the inappropriate punctuation is soon joined by many typos, misspellings, and odd capitalizations.  Challenge yourself to hold back from posting to the ComNet until you've not only spell-checked your work-in-progress, but also either read it aloud or given it to a patient friend to read (or even better: both).  As it is, this Certification cannot pass before you go through and clean it up; the mistakes are too distracting.

2.) I don't get a sense of character from your dialogue.  Having characters say things like, "Let me get the rest of these nerd's attention," is not only grammatically incorrect, it's also not particularly believable as the speech of professional adults in a military environment during an emergency.  All of your characters sound similar, and none of them sound particularly adult.  Now, this will come with time, more than anything else; you aren't an adult yourself, yet.  So this is something that isn't a dealbreaker in and of itself, but rather something for you to keep in mind personally as you work to improve your writing moving forward.

3.) The conflict in the first part of your story is unclear.  There is a technical problem with the reactor, but despite all of the interpersonal chaos and technobabble, the reader never really understands what's going on, and therefore isn't very invested when it all somehow turns out okay.  With thousands of lives in the balance, this should be a high-stakes situation, but when the reader is confused, all the potential tension is lost.

4.) Overall, the piece doesn't really feel coherent.  We need more explanation of how the character fixes the malfunctions, and we need a much greater sense of why he in particular is assigned to do the jobs.

Now, that's a lot of critique, right?  Almost sounds harsh, maybe?  I was trying to give you a sense of what the Navy looks for in the writing of officer candidates, Ech, since you've been asking a lot lately.  If you want to get there, you have some work to do.

But with all that said, that ISN'T where you are in your career yet: other than the need for an editing pass, this is a perfectly acceptable post for the last tier of your first certification track.  Beyond this being appropriate for where you are in your VEN career, though, your writing is also full of really GREAT stuff, that transcends ANY position.  For example:

1.)  Your voice, as a writer, is wonderful.  I love evocative turns of phrase like, "He had a Death Star of a gut."

2.)  I appreciate that you work in Star Wars references and quotes like, "That isn't very reassuring."

3.)  You are, for lack of a better word, fun.  The argument between the gunner and your PC about whether you "would" fix it, or whether you would "try" to fix it, was silly and enjoyable, and the "puzzle that could sometimes involve fire" line was classically Echelon: charming and kind of wacky.

It's a good post, Echelon.  Clean it up a bit, and you'll have completed your first Certification track.  And keep up the great work; your writing's already improved a lot since you first joined, and if you keep at it you'll be a shoe-in for the officer training program once it debuts. 

-Trick
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CNT/2LT Wyl "Trick" Trykon/PLF Cappadocious/VENA/VEN/VE

[SoA][SoV][BWC][NSM][E][NAR][HNS][DSM][SWC][1NS][VC:B][LoM]/(=*AE*=)(=*SAE*=)(=*TG*=)(=*SCFE*=)

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Echelon
ComNet Cadet
 
Echelon
 
[VE-NAVY] Petty Officer 1st Class (PO1)
 
Post Number:  263
Total Posts:  546
Joined:  May 2011
Status:  Offline
  RE: Echelon: Naval Engineer Tier 3
February 12, 2012 7:09:09 PM    View the profile of Echelon 
Edited.
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DMG Control Officer/CPO Finbar "Echelon" Bandoran/mSSD Atrus/TF:A/1Flt/FC/VEN/VE

TO/CPO Finbar "Echelon" Bandoran/PLF Cappadocious/VENA/VEN/VE

[SoA] [NAR] [CAR] [MC2] [BWC] [HNS] [MC1] [=^ENG^=]
{VehM} {SfrM} {HypM} {Astr} {LogS} {Shut} {Gunn}


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