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Airborn
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[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
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  New Recruit Reporting For Duty April 25, 2008 6:08:46 PM    View the profile of Airborn 
Hi, I was told to post here, and I am glad to be apart of the Imperial Navy! I'd love any information, and I'm working on a biography of my character and will post it later on tonite
[This message has been edited by Airborn (edited April 28, 2008 4:46:52 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Airborn (edited April 28, 2008 4:49:06 PM)]
StOrMz
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StOrMz
 
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Post Number:  171
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  RE: New Recruit Reporting For Duty April 25, 2008 6:27:58 PM    View the profile of StOrMz 
Great start! A member of the Training Academy will be with you shortly in the meantime i can try to answer any questions you have.

Welcome Aboard!
FM/SCRW StOrMz/Kaph 1-3/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (=A=)

______________________________________________________________

[20:48] * Verkur screams
[20:48]  why are you creaming?
[20:48]  ewwwwwwww
[20:48]  screaming*
Airborn
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Airborn
 
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  RE: New Recruit Reporting For Duty April 25, 2008 8:31:44 PM    View the profile of Airborn 
~Biography~
Name: Aquarius Aurelius "Airborn"
Eyes: Aqua
Hair: Dirty Blonde
Gender: Male
Species: Human
Age: 18
Heighth: 5'8
Interests/Hobbies: Flying and fixing things sich as astro-droids and translation protocol droids

History: Airborn grew up on the wonderful planet of Naboo near

the city of Theed. As a youngling, he developed an interest in
flying mainly due to the fact that his father travelled to numerous

Inner Core Planets as a Sculpture Architect. His father helped
design and construct many landmarks on Coruscant as well as

many other worlds. When he would go on these trips, he let
Airborn accompany him and explore the city until he was through

with his work for the day. Airborn took these opportunities to
discover all that he could about the many diverse and unique

lifestyles of the many planetarian societies. But everywhere he
went, his thoughts consisted of the same general topic: flying. He

seemed to develop a deep passion for being in the sky. He
longed to be airborn, and so he earned his nickname from his

father. When his father said that it was time to return home, or
head off on another journey, Airborn became very excited. When

voyaging to a new planet, his main interest was always the same;
on all of the destinations that he visited, there were wonderous

spaceports that left him ceaselessly amazed. He learned as much
as he could about hangers and the planes in them such as the

TIE-Fighter and TIE-Bomber. His interest in these planes led to
the Imperial Navy noticing that this youngling was appearing at

almost every single one of their hangars in the Inner Core
Planetary Systems. Not only did he show up for a gander, he

spent countless hours gazing at the numerous shuttles and
fighters. As the years went by, Airborn matured into a young

adult, and the Navy wasted no time in contacting him about
joining the Empire as a Pilot Recruit for the Imperial Navy. Airborn

talked with his parents, and with little hesitation, they let him
head off to start a thrilling, and rewarding life with the Imperials.


Disposition: Airborn wears light tan robes (of the royal naboo

attire) and brown boots up to his knees. He has a serious, yet
charming grin on his face. He carries a small bag full of his

belongings in his left hand. He stands tall at attention, awaiting
orders to start his new life.



I hope this is a good start Let me know of any modifications that I could make. Thanx again
~ Airborn ~
"Living on you own makes you content - living with the one you love makes you complete"
[This message has been edited by Airborn (edited April 28, 2008 4:46:18 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Airborn (edited April 28, 2008 4:48:20 PM)]
Jegora Fal
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Jegora Fal
 
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  RE: New Recruit Reporting For Duty April 26, 2008 9:51:17 PM    View the profile of Jegora Fal 
Hello there

I'm your Naval Academy Operator; that means I'm the guy who will be showing you the ropes here for the next few days.

First off, I would like to compliment you on your bio. You have a good start, and thats impressive. However, there are a few things that you could do to both make your posts easier to read and make them look better.

The first issue I have is with the color. This may not bother you, or even most people, but awkward color is hard for me to read. For this reason, it is most convienent if you would simply use white text, such as is the default setting.

On a different note, we tend to break our posts up, leaving a space inbetween paragraphs and different sections of the post (refer to it as I have done, or you may look at the various threads here to get an idea)

Edit that and make a post here and I will check it out. Many thanks.
Jegora Fal
Flight Leader, Nazgul Squadron
Vast Empire Naval Academy Staff (Operator)
FL/MCPO Jegora Fal/Nazgul 2-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) [MC1] [LoT] {SWC}
Airborn
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Airborn
 
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  RE: New Recruit Reporting For Duty April 30, 2008 7:43:02 PM    View the profile of Airborn 
I have made my changes.
~ Airborn ~
"Living on you own makes you content - living with the one you love makes you complete"
Jegora Fal
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Jegora Fal
 
[VE-NAVY] Master Chief Petty Officer
 
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  RE: New Recruit Reporting For Duty April 30, 2008 11:21:32 PM    View the profile of Jegora Fal 
Sorry for the wait.

Looks good, except for the breaking up. When I said breaking up, I meant by paragraph. For instance:

   
OOC:
Jegora walked into the room, alert for any signs of trouble. It had been a while since had last been to Corellia, but that didn't mean that any of his enemies were still hanging around. If his time in the Navy had taught him anything, it was that vigilance equaled life, and carelessness equaled death.
    Scanning the crowd carefully for any sign of hostiles, Jegora took a seat against one of the walls, directly opposite the door. This way he could watch who came in and out of the bar, he would have multiple escape routes, and he was still somewhat out of the way. It was the perfect setup. With a sigh, Jegora settled in and began to wait for his contact.


would become....

OOC:
Jegora walked into the room, alert for any signs of trouble. It had been a while since had last been to Corellia, but that didn't mean that any of his enemies were still hanging around. If his time in the Navy had taught him anything, it was that vigilance equaled life, and carelessness equaled death.

Scanning the crowd carefully for any sign of hostiles, Jegora took a seat against one of the walls, directly opposite the door. This way he could watch who came in and out of the bar, he would have multiple escape routes, and he was still somewhat out of the way. It was the perfect setup. With a sigh, Jegora settled in and began to wait for his contact
.

I hope that clears things up. If not, let me know.

Moving on, you may progress to Chapter 2. You have an assignment there, go ahead and post it up here as well. Also, I would take some time to familiarize yourself with our Wiki. You will have work to do on it here in a bit.
Jegora Fal
Flight Leader, Nazgul Squadron
Vast Empire Naval Academy Staff (Operator)
FL/MCPO Jegora Fal/Nazgul 2-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) [MC1] [LoT] {SWC}

CORNFED
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